here's something for all you ze monkeys[IMG]

you only need to open one attatchment they're the same image :D

[b]Become a Better Liar

1) First of all, minimize your lies.
-If you lie all the time. people will never believe you.

2) Try to cry while you're lying.
-Everyone believes someone who's crying.

3) Always swear to god.
-Not God with a "G"...you'll be punished severely! Little "g" god can mean
Zeus or Poseidon or Money.

4) Emphasize each word.
-(e.g. I....SWEAR....TO....gOD!!!)

5) Break something (a dish or vase)
-If you detect that the listener is even remotely doubting you.

6) Always say: "Ask so-and-so. They'll back me up on this."
-Be sure to name your best friend, though. Best friends always side with
you whether you're lying or not.

7) Plan out your lie ahead of time.
-Never ad lib, you'll stutter.

8) Never stutter!!

9) Don't take chances on lies that can be easily researched.

10) Stick to your lie NO MATTER WHAT!!!

11) Try going to law school.

You can make good money, too!

damn. i've only used #11. guess that's why i never get away with anything.

funny thing is i thought of you when i read this list.

this pic always make me laugh

the definite answer

edited: to protect innocent eyes

OMG!!! :D :D :D :D

He's kind of cute! I mean his face. ;)

Me, to Wolfgang: Get your furry little ass out here & poop!

My mom: Who are you talking to?

Me, stifling a laugh: The DOG!!!

Looks like this got "covered up"!

"John Joly of Dublin strenuously insisted well into the 1930s that the Earth was no more than eighty-nine million years old, and was stopped only then by his own death."

-- Bill Bryson

You may not feel outstandingly robust, but if you are an average-sized adult you will contain within your modest frame no less than 7 X 10¹⁸ joules of potential energy -- enough to explode with the force of thirty very large hydrogen bombs, assuming you knew how to liberate it and really wished to make a point.

-- Bill Bryson

Alcor in Phoenix for a good ol' fashion October creep feeling. Better to laugh!