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MoJoRiSin 08-02-2011 02:52 AM

page 66 of the August 1 People Magazine

i c
ry practically on a daily basis

lukkucairi 08-02-2011 10:03 AM

gee, really?

remembering my father's dementia.

xfox 08-17-2011 10:22 PM

What is the record for the longest time to judge the DG?

Brynn 08-17-2011 11:20 PM

I thought that thread was dead

Odbe 08-19-2011 10:12 AM

Don't assume until you cut off its head and burn it.

xfox 08-19-2011 10:19 PM

Where is Lukki?

Hyakujo's Fox 08-20-2011 02:40 AM

she's on tour

brightpearl 09-10-2011 07:28 PM

Just about 10 years ago, I was home with my son, and I turned on the TV for the morning news. For the next hour, I would alternately break into sobs and then force smiles for the boy, as he would look confused and then cry reflexively in response. I made myself turn it off to avoid scaring him to death, but I kept checking the news online, and tried to fill in friends who were stuck at work with fewer ways to find out what was going on.

I've had many awful, awful days since then for me personally, but that was easily the worst day of my life even though I knew no one directly affected.

Here I am now, 10 years on, with another infant son whose birth could not have then been predicted. How that day will ultimately prove to have changed the world my sons will inherit is similarly unpredictable.

Where were you? What was it like? Does it matter now?

People still talk about how beautiful the sky was.

xfox 09-11-2011 05:37 PM

Yes, it was a awful time. I was also looking at the Today Show and Matt and Katie seemed stunned to the point of disbelief at such an occurrence. I find it hard to believe the Marines who were blown up in Beiruit were not avenged, among other terrorist activities prior to the WTC.

My thoughts and prayers go out to those who lost friends and family.

Stephi_B 09-11-2011 07:48 PM

i was sleeping till late and then procrastinating from learning for my first pre-diploma exam (organic chemistry, which i HAT). then around 1pm (it happened at 3pm our time) my best mate from uni called and we chatted away for almost two hours. just when i hung up my grandma called me and urged me to turn on the TV. what i saw was the first plane having hit, and i thought "shit, that looks like 'independence day'...". and while granny and me just watched in disbelieve and shock the second plane hit and my grandma muttered "...terrorists". just then my mate called again, on the cell phone, asking me breathless if i had on the TV, "yes".

i spent most of the following 3 days in front of the TV, i fell asleep in front of it and woke up to it, and i phoned a lot with my family, and when the next day there was a condolence speech at the parliament i had to cry when it came to the sentence "today we are all americans".

i figure that day was and is for my generation the same as the fall of the berlin wall (which i CAN remember, i was 9 and allowed to stay up late to watch it on TV, although i live right at the former border and where it broke through first and as heartwarming and GREAT and POSITIVE the old footages are, it's definitely further away for me, more "historic"-like) for the previous one: it changed how the world was like before. but maybe the time period from '89 to '01 was just a little break from the world being the same with a different flavour? dunno :confused:

Bman 09-11-2011 10:20 PM

...I was in middle school. 2nd Period. Kind of hard to comprehend what was going on at the time. Few weeks later, veteran uncle demands that we take a trip to Disney. To show the terrorists whatfor.

Hyakujo's Fox 09-12-2011 03:53 AM

I'd been out for a long evening walk. I got home it was 10:45. I dithered a bit between going straight to my bedroom or sitting in front of the late news for a bit while I cooled off. In the end I opted to watch the news for a few minutes. So I watched. About 12:15 I really needed to call someone but I didn't really want to wake up anybody for this. I remembered my friend working in Paris, so I called her at her office. "Are you watching?" she said. "Yes" I said. In the end I watched til about 3 in the morning when there was nothing left to say.

Sometimes I still think of it and say to myself "Geez that actually happened."

brightpearl 09-12-2011 11:56 AM

I also remember seeing this, which helped a little bit.

Any fool can destroy; it takes real courage and conviction and effort to rebuild one 5-gallon plastic bucket at a time. And the dream can be realized; hopefully for more than a moment, someday.

And then 5 years later, I saw this, which also helped. It was the first Show I ever saw, and then I started watching, and then I started participating, and eventually I stopped numbing through life. In retrospect, there's been a long chain of connected events...from massive scale destruction and rebuilding to very small...that lead to the way things are for me today. So strange to see from that perspective.

I'm so grateful for so many things.

craig johnston 09-12-2011 02:29 PM

how long did it take to go from 'we are all american' to 'freedom fries'?

Stephi_B 09-12-2011 04:33 PM

18 months and 8 days.

brightpearl 09-12-2011 04:58 PM

That's what I meant by asking whether it mattered. We paid so much for the opportunity to understand what it all means, and a lot of people missed it. It really compounded the sadness for me.

A lot of other people, though, never made that awful jump. The Daily Show, among other things, helped me maintain a sense of sanity by highlighting how nuts it was.

I still don't feel I can say what society will ultimately take away from it, how future generations will change, but I hope for some progress.

Stephi_B 09-12-2011 05:39 PM

also the sh!t that happended caused, or better said, accelerated change on a global scope. let's see how this will all turn out.

hopefully more multipolar, less divergent into extremes and less neo(-liberal, -conservative, -dumbassed) than the world has turned out in the last decade or some years more.

Brynn 09-13-2011 04:09 AM

That was a day when I talked to strangers I had never talked to before in my neighborhood. I lost a big fear of talking to strangers in general that day, as a matter of fact. It's just not a problem for me anymore.
As the buildings collapsed on live TV - and I can't believe that I am the only idiot on earth to admit this out loud - my mind involuntarily flashed on the Death Star pulverizing Alderon, then I immediately felt ashamed for thinking of Star Wars. But a vacuum open up inside me and I felt like something in me was being crushed lifeless too. It's the closest thing to true horror I have ever felt.
I hadn't equated the years-long depression I felt that followed with 9/11 per se, but I do find it strange to realize how much lighter I finally feel this year, the same year that Osama bin Laden was captured and killed. And I don't know what to think about that - feeling better that someone is dead now.

Stephi_B 09-13-2011 04:03 PM

the OBL thing was totally surreal to me, whereas 9/11 felt very real, despite the geographical distance and the cineastic live pictures (that made me deeply think about emmerich's "independence day", the scene where the white house gets kawoomed by the starship... hearing about a plane also hitting pentagon gave me the shivers in connection with my very initial thought about that very film)

MoJoRiSin 09-14-2011 02:55 PM

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (18 POSTS BACK)
I have been paying attention and the truth is I do NOT cry
on a daily basis, sometimes music or poetry makes my eyes
water a little but that is about it...yesterday a friend died and i didn't cry but when I laid down to go to sleep and i felt tears started rolling down the sides of my face but not really with grief, my husband sort of felt it and tried to cheer me up by telling me that when he was searching the internet for "iron head" which apparently is some sort of Harley Davidson Motorcycle he stumbled onto a story about some Iron Head Monks and then i laughed and said "yea if you have a young son that is rather crazy you could just drop him by there... or threaten such and he replied that when he was a little boy he would have definitely run away to join such a group.... Lukku I sure hope you are laughing and not crying.... Please check in and let us know you are
doing fine...
ox Love, Mo

Coffee 09-26-2011 02:54 PM

Qotd: 9/25/11.
Which is nuttier?
Believing one sees ghosts, or believing in ghosts despite zero evidence they exist.

brightpearl 09-26-2011 07:54 PM

Well, perhaps having the feeling that there are ghosts, even in the absence of thinking you see something, is a kind of evidence.

I'm of two minds about the whole thing. Part of me is a hardnosed skeptic, but I have a couple of friends and family members that have had odd things happen, and I've had the occasional odd thing myself. So the other part of me doesn't think either option is nutty.

In general, however, I think basing belief on one's own observations of anything is the better strategy, so seeing would be slightly less nutty. :D

MoJoRiSin 09-27-2011 02:26 AM

double meaning....
neither is sillier to the other in my opinion

xfox 09-27-2011 10:49 AM

Methinks ghosts exist in dreams and, hence, in life.

Coffee 09-27-2011 12:04 PM

I think both positions are nutty (obviously based on my clearly biased question of the day) :P .

But I find it odder that society in general thinks it is nuttier to believe one has actually seen (or talked to or talked with) a ghost than to simply believe in them based on "hearsay"/third party accounts/fuzzy indistinct photos (which are notoriously easy to make indistinct even without trying).

I agree with Brynn's last sentance actually, that in general it is more reliable to believe based on personal observation than upon hearsay...yet most people that believe in ghosts have never seen one. Even direct observation however isn't perfectly reliable due to clearly documented cases of people with mental disorders clearly seeing things/people/imaginary pink elephants/whatever.

And, if the question wasn't obviously seen as a repetitive coffee theme, the situation is of course a metaphor for belief in any metaphysical entity without direct observation/conversation with said entity...which perhaps 90% of the human population is prone to do.

Of course you are all bright people and see that the question is actually "Is it nuttier to believe in god because he apeared to you in a flaming bush? or is it nuttier to believe in him based on an old nutter coming down from a hill with a bunch of new laws supposed dictated to him by a burning bush."

90% of humans, and most of this board are prone to believing an old nutbag with an agenda...that bothers me.

Coffee 09-27-2011 12:33 PM

since the board won't let me edit let me clarify....and that last sentance of mine sounded negatively judgemental upon rereading it...not my intent.

the reason it bothers me that u all are also prone to beliving in ghosts/gods/ufos/whever is that you are all brilliant people.

It bothers me that brilliant people are capable of believing in fantastic stuff based on hearsay and unexplainable (ie. IDK) incidents even from people who have clear agendas...Kings, Clergy, paranormal reality shows, psychics, astrologers...etc.
It makes disproving those things harder than it should be because we all have 9 friends out of 10 who believe at least some of your fantastic beliefs...whatever they might be.

Coffee 09-27-2011 12:35 PM

*Pearlies sentance, not Brynn's...im having hard/tard typing day...sorry.

brightpearl 09-27-2011 04:49 PM

Well, I don't know what is fantastic any more. Everyday life has gotten a bit spooky. Radio waves would probably have sounded pretty out there to Galileo, for instance. And the purist viewpoint would argue that there is as little evidence disproving life after death as there is proving it.

There's actually not much truly objective proof of consciousness arising in the brain, actually. I mean, we have printouts of electrical activity of brains, but how do those prove consciousness outside of our own subjective experience of awareness? Someone from another planet might be skeptical -- maybe we only appear to think and perceive, or maybe our consciousness exists but is housed in extra dimensions, rolled up in superstrings, and is just transmitted through the brain.

That's all moot, though, because so much of human thinking is influenced by emotions regardless of any proof. And as my two minds reflect, most of us are perfectly capable of maintaining separate and contradictory viewpoints without much trouble. We have a strong need to rationalize our contradictions and mitigate our fears in order to lead pleasant lives and get things done for one another. This seems natural to me -- even healthy in many cases, when it leads to compassion and comfort -- and so it is okay whether it is supported by objective evidence or not.

I share your frustrations, however, when beliefs are used to limit or hurt other people. That response is so insidious, and so common.

Frieda 09-29-2011 03:28 PM

new QOTD:

i attended a gender diversity meeting at work today, apparently there's only 18% women in middle management and 3% in higher management.

IT has always been a thing for men so i never thought of it as weird to be the only woman around in a department, but apparently this is also a trend in management regions. i'm not sure how i feel about recruiting people to join a company based on their genitals instead of their skills.

how gender diverse is the company you're with? do they have any gender diversity plans or goals? how do you feel about the gender thing? issue or not?

brightpearl 09-30-2011 11:02 AM

There are more women than men working in health care, but the different jobs in the industry are dominated by either men or women -- most nurses and family practice docs are women, most surgeons are men. So, the higher the pay, the more likely it is that there are more men. I think this is only okay if it's the pattern that results from a lot of individuals choosing what they think is best for them -- if it happens because more women happen to feel happier working in nursing or family practice than they would as surgeons, it's fine, but if it happens because there are subtle forces like discrimination or negative expectations preventing women from considering higher-paying positions, it's not so good.

Probably there are still problems, but they are slowly getting better.

YsaPur EsChomuw 10-02-2011 01:21 AM

1. ghosts for coffee

2. I work at a training institution. There are two types of jobs: professional teachers and civilian teachers. The latter group earns only mumbles. There's one woman in the well-paid group, the rest are men. There's one man in the other group, the rest are us.

Brynn 10-03-2011 08:27 PM

Coffee's question:

I've seen ghosts. I can't remember to what extent I've chronicled it here. There was one in my manager's luxurious house in the Hollywood hills. The ghost had dark hair cut into a page boy, a white shirt, and tan khaki's. She was in the laundry room, doing laundry, plain as day, her back to me. Then she slipped into the bathroom ahead of me as I was headed there too. She was in there and didn't come out for 15-20 minutes before I finally knocked on the door to see if she was okay. When I finally opened the door, the windowless bathroom was empty.
When I asked my manager Janice if she'd hired some new help, she said "Did she have dark hair, a white shirt and khaki's?" I said yes.
She said "Oh. You saw her."
Janice had seen her too, and asked her landlord - a 17 year old kid - about her. He told her she had probably seen his mother, who was murdered along with his entire family by an uncle who went postal one night. He survived as a ten year old by hiding under his bed when he heard the screaming. I met him too, and remember wondering why he didn't live in this gorgeous house himself. He was shy, very quiet, spoke very softly and kept his eyes averted.
I am not brain-damaged or mentally ill.
Several years later, in 1992, I lived in a house that was full of paranormal activity. Several very specific things happened over a relatively short space of time, including injuries to my one-year-old daughter. I was terrified. I converted to Christianity because nothing - and I mean NOTHING else got that dark, rotten thing out of there. My husband witnessed the same thing, confirmed it, but did not convert to Christianity. In the years since, we have not seen anything remotely related to ghosts, and I hope and pray we never will again. Whether anyone believes me or not is their business - my personal experience does not and never will translate to people who have never had an experience like that, and I would never wish it on anyone. The closest thing I could point to to give anyone a sense of what emotional turmoil we went through would be the "Paranormal Activity" movies, which are remarkably spot on as far as questioning one's own sanity, living with the feeling of being "watched" and witnessing some pretty freaky things.
Nowadays, I don't talk about it anymore unless asked. If you think I'm nutty for having gone through that I'm fine with that, but I just don't see why anyone would feel the need to put that label on me personally. It's just something that happened to me. It's not like I'm a Republican whack-job running for president or anything :) What I think is nutty is if I decided one day that the moon is made of cheese just because I myself didn't get into a space ship to check it out personally. I believe NASA, I believe the astronauts and I think they are credible in spite of the fact that their agenda to make me believe them would enhance their funding.
Coffee, over the years we've disagreed about things, but still manage to find common ground. I respect you and like you for your sense of humor, and your views on social justice issues, and lots of other things that have nothing to do with this. But if the cognitive dissonance is too great to accommodate this "nuttiness" in me I can fully understand why you might need to distance yourself. I can't change what happened to me, and I won't gloss over the truth of how my own life was affected by it.

Hyakujo's Fox 10-04-2011 07:37 AM


Originally Posted by Brynn (Post 429295)
It's not like I'm a Republican whack-job running for president or anything :)

Really? Then what's your position on ghosts in the military? ;)

Coffee 10-04-2011 11:37 AM

Didn't you ever watch Scooby Doo?! That was a real estate developer trying to scare the kid out of the property. There is asecret trap door in the laundy room. ;-)

H.F. : only if there is a Don't See, Don't Show policy :-P

Peregrine 10-04-2011 09:10 PM

Years ago while I was still living with my parents, I was the last one up watching TV. Someone had chips, and left the half-full bag on the floor by the couch under the mantle. When my mom got up to go to bed, she said "make sure you put those chips away before you go to bed".

Naturally, I'd completely forgot about the chips. An hour or so later, when I got up to go to bed, I turned around, and just then, a birthday card fell off the mantle, and landed right on the bag of chips.

I'm not saying that it was a helpful ghost, reminding me to put the chips away. But... it was convenient.

Bman 10-08-2011 09:30 AM

I have to grade papers for a class. Now every day I am reminded of the ghost of the english language.

xfox 10-16-2011 01:38 AM

What was the best day of your life? (so far)

brightpearl 10-16-2011 11:28 AM

Easily the births of my children, by far, but people often say those shouldn't count because it is too obvious. :)

There was a day several years ago, when I had a moment of clarity or insight -- I suppose most would classify it as religious, although I'm not sure I would define it thus myself. It was such a relief, and it helped me a lot on subsequent days, so whether or not it was my best day ever, it resulted in a lot of good days later. Worth a lot.

Brynn 10-18-2011 10:33 PM

Hmmm...good question! Lots of wonderful days to choose from, but I'd have to say it was definitely one particular day.
I was a horse-crazy 12-year-old walking my dog one day in the field behind my school. I had read every book there was, I had begged for horse lessons, had horse posters all over my room blah blah blah - but I had never ridden a horse, only read about it.
Out of the woods came a teenage girl on a giant horse!
She saw me run up and stare. She smiled, hopped down, and asked me if I wanted to ride her horse, just like that.
Of course I did. She gave me a leg up, and told me to take him for a run around the football field.
It was wonderful. I've never galloped on a horse since. It came at a really important time in my life - if grownups weren't being mean and abusive, they were totally ignoring me, so it was nice to meet this girl and her horse.

MoJoRiSin 10-21-2011 07:38 PM

The day thisnhappened:
eureka eureka eureka p=PILGRIM !!

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