New Orleans is in for some rain
Tho' right now they are feeling no pain
Because they are numb

New Orleans is in for some rain
Tho' right now they are feeling no pain
Because they are numb
Katrina may come

New Orleans is in for some rain
Tho' right now they are feeling no pain
Because they are numb
Katrina may come
And she did, and the rain doth remain

"People are hell" muttered Sartre

"People are hell" muttered Sartre
And, so saying, clutched at his heartre

"People are hell" muttered Sartre
And, so saying, clutched at his heartre
Then he fell over dead
Or so Heidegger said,

"People are hell" muttered Sartre
And, so saying, clutched at his heartre
Then he fell over dead
Or so Heidegger said,
"That dumb Kant, he ain't worth a fartre."

Imperatives aren't categorical

Imperatives aren't categorical
Though as questions they're oft posed rhetorical

Imperatives aren't categorical
Though as questions they're oft posed rhetorical
Please don't get confused

Imperatives aren't categorical
Though as questions they're oft posed rhetorical
Please don't get confused
At the way that they're used

Imperatives aren't categorical
Though as questions they're oft posed rhetorical
Please don't get confused
At the way that they're used,
just counter "fvck you", metaphorical

I hate those who practise bad grammar

I hate those who practise bad grammar
Bad spelers, to boot, don't enammar

I hate those who practise bad grammar
Bad spelers, to boot, don't enammar
When an infinitive's split

I hate those who practise bad grammar
Bad spelers, to boot, don't enammar
When an infinitive's split
I hunt down the twit

I hate those who practise bad grammar
Bad spelers, to boot, don't enammar
When an infinitive's split
I hunt down the twit
And my Websters I use as a hammer.

I once took a stroll around Asia,

I once took a stroll around Asia
with the Grand Duchess Anastasia

I once took a stroll around Asia
with the Grand Duchess Anastasia
When we got to Beijing
She started to sing

I once took a stroll around Asia
with the Grand Duchess Anastasia
When we got to Beijing
She started to sing.
Thank god I was deaf from displasia.

The knights of the round table rode

The knights of the round table rode
To the door of the peasant's abode.

The knights of the round table rode
To the door of the peasant's abode.
But rather than knocking

The knights of the round table rode
To the door of the peasant's abode.
But rather than knocking
They did something shocking

The knights of the round table rode
To the door of the peasant's abode.
But rather than knocking
They did something shocking
And outside the chivalric code.

My neighbour stole my TV,
But on her head let it be,

My neighbour stole my TV,
But on her head let it be,
Let the big channel knob
Fill her gossipy gob

My neighbour stole my TV,
But on her head let it be,
Let the big channel knob
Fill her gossipy gob
And her brain drain on Fox 23.

The birds are attacking the cats

The birds are attacking the cats
And skinning their fur for warm hats

The birds are attacking the cats
And skinning their fur for warm hats;
The cats, in their turn,

The birds are attacking the cats
And skinning their fur for warm hats;
The cats, in their turn,
Are starting to learn

The birds are attacking the cats
And skinning their fur for warm hats;
The cats, in their turn,
Are starting to learn
That a hot dog goes great with Labatt's.

They say if you do it too much

They say if you do it too much
There's desensitization to touch

They say if you do it too much
There's desensitization to touch
You'll flog and you'll flail
But, alas, you will fail

They say if you do it too much
There's desensitization to touch
You'll flog and you'll flail
But, alas, you will fail
To arrive -- once you've burned out your clutch.

(Ouch. Put some salve on that.)


Perhaps there's an unguent or lotion

Perhaps there's an unguent or lotion
From shellfish caught deep in the ocean