My statements are glib and precise
Very quick and twice as nice
Though I mean what I say
More often than not, "Nay!"

My statements are glib and precise
Very quick and twice as nice
Though I mean what I say
More often than not, "Nay!"
Verbosity's not worth the price

There once was a man who was twisted

There once was a man who was twisted
whose friends (some ze-monkeys) insisted

There once was a man who was twisted
whose friends (some ze-monkeys) insisted
to fry up his brain

There once was a man who was twisted
whose friends (some ze-monkeys) insisted
to fry up his brain
a freaky quatrain

There once was a man who was twisted
whose friends (some ze-monkeys) insisted
to fry up his brain
a freaky quatrain
t'were glad when he ceased and desisted

Do not, friends, assume from my absence

Do not, friends, assume from my absence
that this lim'rick will be free of non-sense

Do not, friends, assume from my absence
that this lim'rick will be free of non-sense
maintain your pentameter

Do not, friends, assume from my absence
that this lim'rick will be free of non-sense
maintain your pentameter
don't rhyme like no amateur

Do not, friends, assume from my absence
that this lim'rick will be free of non-sense
maintain your pentameter
don't rhyme like no amateur
and for god's sake, come down off that fence

They throw tomatoes when you suck

They throw tomatoes when you suck
Which hit you if you do not duck

They throw tomatoes when you suck
Which hit you if you do not duck
They will stain all your shirts

They throw tomatoes when you suck
Which hit you if you do not duck
They will stain all your shirts
with horrible squirts

They throw tomatoes when you suck
Which hit you if you do not duck
They will stain all your shirts
with horrible squirts
but you'll survive if you're in luck

When Monkeys do monkey in Vegas

When Monkeys do monkey in Vegas
Soon Monkeys will do things outrageous

When Monkeys do monkey in Vegas
Soon Monkeys will do things outrageous
When you mix in the drink

When Monkeys do monkey in Vegas
Soon Monkeys will do things outrageous
When you mix in the drink
add a measure of kink

When Monkeys do monkey in Vegas
Soon Monkeys will do things outrageous
When you mix in the drink
add a measure of kink
The pics will be quite advantageous!

When posting some Vegas photography

When posting some Vegas photography
We've no int'rest in the geography

When posting some Vegas photography
We've no int'rest in the geography
just show us the corny

and make us all horny

When posting some Vegas photography
We've no int'rest in the geography
just show us the corny
and make us all horny
with lots of cute showgirl topography.

When the last of your cash has been spent

When the last of your cash has been spent
Zilch left for booze, neither for rent

When the last of your cash has been spent
Zilch left for booze, neither for rent
With creditors foreclosin'

Bravo!

When the last of your cash has been spent
Zilch left for booze, neither for rent
With creditors foreclosin'
you'll feel you've been chosen

When the last of your cash has been spent
Zilch left for booze, neither for rent
With creditors foreclosin'
you'll feel you've been chosen
to travel the world with a tent.

Traveling the world in a tent

Traveling the world in a tent
I found that where ever I went

Traveling the world in a tent
I found that where ever I went
That people would come

Traveling the world in a tent
I found that where ever I went
That people would come
And call me a bum

Traveling the world in a tent
I found that where ever I went
That people would come
And call me a bum
Though I saved a bundle on rent

There once was a landlord from Dallas

There once was a landlord from Dallas
WHo loved to show tenants his phallus