"That bugger made off with my purse!"
"I am in need of a MAD NURSE!"
I'm Mad and I'm free

"That bugger made off with my purse!"
"I am in need of a MAD NURSE!"
I'm Mad and I'm free
when that bloke has to pee

"That bugger made off with my purse!"
"I am in need of a MAD NURSE!"
I'm Mad and I'm free
when that bloke has to pee
I'll reclaim my purse with a curse!

If you're not mad to start with, you will be

If you're not mad to start with, you will be
and when you hear what I paid, you'll kill me

If you're not mad to start with, you will be
and when you hear what I paid, you'll kill me
but this shopping binge

If you're not mad to start with, you will be
and when you hear what I paid, you'll kill me
but this shopping binge
has made even me cringe

If you're not mad to start with, you will be
and when you hear what I paid, you'll kill me
but this shopping binge
has made even me cringe
They were 1/3 of the price, so I bought three

Make sure that the cream cheese is soft

Make sure that the cream cheese is soft
'cause warm-ish will give you more loft

Make sure that the cream cheese is soft
'cause warm-ish will give you more loft
firm cream cheese will fall

Make sure that the cream cheese is soft
'cause warm-ish will give you more loft
firm cream cheese will fall
off your head like a ball

Make sure that the cream cheese is soft
'cause warm-ish will give you more loft
firm cream cheese will fall
off your head like a ball
If you ever bent over and coughed.

While searching for your Christmas gift

While searching for your Christmas gift
avoid those that might cause a rift

While searching for your Christmas gift
avoid those that might cause a rift
stay in neutral - never miffed

While searching for your Christmas gift
avoid those that might cause a rift
stay in neutral - never miffed
keep it tasteful - don't get biffed

While searching for your Christmas gift
avoid those that might cause a rift
stay in neutral - never miffed
keep it tasteful - don't get biffed
and someone's spirits you will surely uplift!

There once was a donkey-less priest

There once was a donkey-less priest
In despair at the loss of his beast

There once was a donkey-less priest
In despair at the loss of his beast
He consulted f-tuba

There once was a donkey-less priest
In despair at the loss of his beast
He consulted f-tuba
Who sent him to cuba

There once was a donkey-less priest
In despair at the loss of his beast
He consulted f-tuba
Who sent him to cuba
Which didn't suit him in the least

A rat in a hat on a mat

A rat in a hat on a mat
couldn't tell tit from tat

A rat in a hat on a mat
couldn't tell tit from tat
so it sat on the mat

A rat in a hat on a mat
couldn't tell tit from tat
so it sat on the mat
with hopes gone kersplat

A rat in a hat on a mat
couldn't tell tit from tat
so it sat on the mat
with hopes gone kersplat
of finishing in the proper format

I ran my hands over your backside

I ran my hands over your backside
To get my fill of thrills on your joyride

I ran my hands over your backside
To get my fill of thrills on your joyride
grinding and humping

I ran my hands over your backside
To get my fill of thrills on your joyride
grinding and humping
the rhythm was bumping

I ran my hands over your backside
To get my fill of thrills on your joyride
grinding and humping
the rhythm was bumping
I'm holding on tight to your slick hide.

For hours I sat at the station

For hours I sat at the station
With a ticket yet no motivation-

For hours I sat at the station
With a ticket yet no motivation-
The trains all roll by

For hours I sat at the station
With a ticket yet no motivation-
The trains all roll by
While I stare at the sky

For hours I sat at the station
With a ticket yet no motivation-
The trains all roll by
While I stare at the sky
And contemplate predestination.

Destiny, it is you I resist

Destiny, it is you I resist
Fate, you've got no right to insist