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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

Smartypants 11-27-2004 11:12 PM

The entire "It's a Donkey" thread has made me guffaw loudly for two days running.

Also, this came in my email:

The _Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and _high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea _lecthim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many _victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, and _in spite of having taken measures to _protect themselves from this especially _virulent disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with _Gonorrhea _lecthim include, _but are not limited to: Anti-social _personality disorder traits; delusions _of grandeur with a distinct Messianic _flavor; chronic mangling of the English _language; extreme cognitive dissonance; _inability to incorporate new _information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; _exceptional cowardice masked by acts of _misplaced bravado; ignorance of _geography and history; tendencies toward _creating evangelical theocracies; and a _strong propensity for categorical, _all-or-nothing behavior.

xfox 11-28-2004 05:40 PM

The above makes me laugh.

And, a farmer was selling watermellons one fine summer day at $3 each. A little girl wanted to buy one but only had thirty cents. The farmer looked around and spotted a small one and offered to sell it for her cash. She said "Fine, I'll be back in 3 months to pick it up."

rmr 11-29-2004 02:20 AM

OK, TEnenbaum fans.....
Ive been watching the criterion special edition dvd of tenenbaums twice a day, and ive finally figured something outt......
ROYAL WAS NEVER AXUALLY DYING.
shocking, i know.
your thoughts


yeah seriously dude hate to bust your bubble, but your ridiculously stupid
my three year old sister knows that royal wasnt dying..and shes deaf and blind.
it wasnt a mystery, this is not like vanilla sky or memento..theres nothing to figure out here genius. wow go watch spiderman or something, with a couple hints...you might figure out what spidermans real identity is.....ill give you a clue, its peter...p...


so Royal wasn't dying??? i so confoosed



i seriously cannot stop laughing.........

Frieda 11-29-2004 08:45 AM

jesus rims!! :rolleyes:

rmr 11-29-2004 12:05 PM

^^^ i'm still cracking up about this

btw i didn't write it if that's what you're thinking

i think it was supposed to be a joke and people were getting soooooo mad..........hahahahaha

chuckie egg 11-29-2004 12:31 PM

... the bruise on my arse (ass) from my drunken fall on saturday

Aphrodite 11-29-2004 12:59 PM

The bruise on my ass is from falling out the door at the gas station last night.
I was dressed in my new black pants and cardigan and looked very chic.
The fall must have lasted 30 seconds. I didn't know there was a step so my foot dropped an extra three inches and I stumbled. I caught my other foot on firm cement and went to step forward, only to discover there was a shovel and other snow tools which I caught with my toe. I fell backward with tools clattering all around me and hit a door jamb with my butt. This spun me around and I ended up staggering forward and hit the other side of the door jamb. Very noisy and very undignified. I was laughing hysterically for the first time in days. The owner and my friend came rushing out to find me standing there in front of the door laughing, holding my butt, with shovels and a rake and window cleaner supplies all around me.
I think I'll use a different gas station for a while ;)

priceyfatprude 11-30-2004 12:23 AM

http://forum.zgeek.com/showthread.ph...hybrid&t=24908


"So my wife of fifteen years (next thusday) and I were having a kind of lull in our relationship. Still can't put a finger on what caused it, just a really weird time. We weren't talking and it just sucked for like three weeks. Neither of us were sleeping and things were really strained. Something had to give! I burned a totally legal* copy of "Can't smile without you" on to a CD, snuck to my wife's work, loaded it in her CD player in her car and adjusted the volume to the proper setting.

It worked. That simple yet extremely gay gesture got us talking and ****ing again. w00t. Thanks Barry Manilow.

*as per the copyright laws of Anarctica and Mars, possibly others."

trisherina 11-30-2004 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Miss Malevolent
I swear, it's like people need to have visions of some chick smashing geckos between her toes whilst they jack off with tacks and crisco in their hands.

What happened to normal sex?

I'm thinking in the future people will think that the missionary position was a myth.

I miss the divine Miss M.

Large Marge 11-30-2004 05:58 AM

Sorry, but I must interject.

The missionary position IS boring.

dinzdale 11-30-2004 01:55 PM

It depends on the missionary, and whether or not can she touch her toes :)

Avalon 11-30-2004 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Large Marge
Sorry, but I must interject.

The missionary position IS boring.

I must interject..
It isn't the position that is boring, it is the people.

Large Marge 11-30-2004 03:34 PM

If you want to get right down to it, it's the size that makes the difference.

The missionary position isn't the best position for, uh, someone who isn't well-endowed. There are many other positions with better contact.

And besides, sex would be dull in any position, if it were the same way over and over and over ...

trisherina 11-30-2004 03:37 PM

Now you see why I miss the divine Miss M.

Avalon 11-30-2004 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by trisherina
Now you see why I miss the divine Miss M.
I never knew her and I miss her. *sigh*

dinzdale 11-30-2004 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Large Marge
The missionary position isn't the best position for, uh, someone who isn't well-endowed....
well stop having sex with Beale then....:rolleyes:

bealeblues 11-30-2004 04:35 PM

that's nice

red 11-30-2004 05:29 PM

this is awesome

red 11-30-2004 05:33 PM

stupid link. select the link below Dancing Transformer.

Avalon 11-30-2004 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by red
this is awesome
THAT was awesome!

Avalon 11-30-2004 09:10 PM

Step 1. Tie missile balloons to car.

Step 2. Drive like a bat out of hell....

Step 3. Watch people freak out !!!!






got this in an email today; wish I had some...

zenbabe 11-30-2004 11:35 PM

AIM is like the ugly chick who gives SUCH good head, and works sooooooo well. MSN is like the typical hot blonde. Gorgeous, but you can't communicate with her. Yahoo! is the creepy guy whacking off in the corner that no one likes, and Trillian is the average looking bisexual male.

funkytuba 11-30-2004 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zenbabe
[...] and Trillian is the average looking bisexual male.
with multiple personalities

priceyfatprude 11-30-2004 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by imdrsmooth
It's not like there is some porn forum that you might be embarassed to be seen in.
This made me ruin my eye makeup.

madasacutsnake 12-01-2004 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zaftig


Smarty secretly loves Bush. President Bush that is.


Frieda 12-01-2004 10:39 PM

my colleague Metin standing up from his chair today and announcing: "i'll be right back, i'm going to wash my pear"

funkytuba 12-01-2004 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frieda
my colleague Metin standing up from his chair today and announcing: "i'll be right back, i'm going to wash my pear"
washin' the pear.... ahh yeah wakka chika..

Frieda 12-01-2004 10:44 PM

kay i guess you had to be there

i mean, he actually had a pear in his hand, but he said it in such a way.. ya know.. so we all had to laugh.. and he had such a dumb look on his face..

ok i guess it's not funny!

Frieda 12-01-2004 10:45 PM

damn!

priceyfatprude 12-01-2004 11:23 PM

No, Frieda, he thinks it's a euphemism for masturbation, therefore, funny. :cool:

The new guy @ work introduced himself to me today & looked me in the eyes when he said his name was Michael. Usually they can't keep their eyes off Laverne & Shirley.

Frieda 12-01-2004 11:24 PM

he's your new gbf

they always are

priceyfatprude 12-01-2004 11:33 PM

^^^^^^^^THAT made me JOJ!!!

chuckie egg 12-02-2004 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frieda

ok i guess it's not funny!

I thought it was funny!!

*waves hand in the air*

melissa 12-02-2004 03:51 PM


tsunamimom 12-02-2004 04:18 PM

^^
I have days like that...

Willow Sylph 12-02-2004 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by priceyfatprude
No, Frieda, he thinks it's a euphemism for masturbation, therefore, funny. :cool:

The new guy @ work introduced himself to me today & looked me in the eyes when he said his name was Michael. Usually they can't keep their eyes off Laverne & Shirley.

This gave me a good laugh this morning. You're too funny, Pricey :D

zenbabe 12-02-2004 08:10 PM

1 Attachment(s)
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melissa 12-03-2004 12:22 AM

My co-worker (who has been recently introduced to Zeland) just called me and said "Do you know there is a panic button?" I got excited thinking that she had found a panic button at her desk (she's the front receptionist) but she had found the panic button on Ze's page! It made me laugh!!

trisherina 12-03-2004 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Audreyvgs
Cripes, play hard to get? I picked it, jumped on it, and then talked it into the rest. end of story. Who has time to play hard to get?

Hermione 12-03-2004 08:30 AM

"I'm a real bastard, aren't I?" - My Political Philosophy Professor.


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