She said she was more than eighteen
Seems I was the one who was green

She said she was more than eighteen
Seems I was the one who was green
After a roll in the hay

She said she was more than eighteen
Seems I was the one who was green
After a roll in the hay
I heard someone say

She said she was more than eighteen
Seems I was the one who was green
After a roll in the hay
I heard someone say
For an octogenarian, she's keen!

Do you take your coffee with cream?

Do you take your coffee with cream?
Or is it of tea, scones and jam that you dream?

Do you take your coffee with cream?
Or is it of tea, scones and jam that you dream?
Just lay out a spread

Do you take your coffee with cream?
Or is it of tea, scones and jam that you dream?
Just lay out a spread
of lamingtons I said

Do you take your coffee with cream?
Or is it of tea, scones and jam that you dream?
Just lay out a spread
of lamingtons I said
and get off of this beverage theme.

The pressure of fingers on neck

The pressure of fingers on neck
were Spock's secret weapon on Trek

The pressure of fingers on neck
were Spock's secret weapon on Trek
And it's said Bruce Lee died
when they were applied

The pressure of fingers on neck
were Spock's secret weapon on Trek
And it's said Bruce Lee died
when they were applied
And all that he murmured was "Heck."

The weather is warmer today

The weather is warmer today
I've packed all my woolens away

The weather is warmer today
I've packed all my woolens away
In a big cedar chest

The weather is warmer today
I've packed all my woolens away
In a big cedar chest
And I'm off on a quest

The weather is warmer today
I've packed all my woolens away
In a big cedar chest
And I'm off on a quest
To find balls that keep moths at bay

The new Poet Laureate, Ted

The new Poet Laureate, Ted
Seems to be quite off his head

The new Poet Laureate, Ted
Seems to be quite off his head
A client who paid
For insurance was made
The theme of a sonnet, instead.

I must be off my rocker

I must be off my rocker
Cause someone just called me a focker

I must be off my rocker
Cause someone just called me a focker --
Not much of a curse

I must be off my rocker
Cause someone just called me a focker --
Not much of a curse
I'm sure I've heard worse

I must be off my rocker
Cause someone just called me a fokker --
Not much of a curse
I'm sure I've heard worse
though my messerschmitt's ready to smokk 'er

It looks like a daffodil day

It looks like a daffodil day
For April, I'm feeling like May

It looks like a daffodil day
For April, I'm feeling like May
But March is a gust
Of icy wind, just
Some cloud-hidden sunlight away.

It's chilly and gas is expensive

It's chilly and gas is expensive
I'm sitting here feeling all pensive

It's chilly and gas is expensive
I'm sitting here feeling all pensive
By this life I'm perplexed

It's chilly and gas is expensive
I'm sitting here feeling all pensive
By this life I'm perplexed
and necessarily overdressed

It's chilly and gas is expensive
I'm sitting here feeling all pensive
By this life I'm perplexed
and necessarily overdressed;
They stripped me, and now I'm defensive.

I'm naked as the day I was born

I'm naked as the day I was born
I burned all the garb I had worn

I'm naked as the day I was born
I burned all the garb I had worn
Now I wait for the breeze

I'm naked as the day I was born
I burned all the garb I had worn
Now I wait for the breeze
To spread my disease

I'm naked as the day I was born
I burned all the garb I had worn
Now I wait for the breeze
To spread my disease
Of Nudism, a love of one's form!

I lay there on the beach just sunning