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-   -   ★ our subtle torments in hell ★ (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=15061)

brightpearl 05-02-2008 03:43 PM

In hell, we can never find the tweezers.

Marcus Bales 05-02-2008 03:48 PM

In hell, you walk around with a huge boner all the time, and every time you try to touch it some imp bites your hand off, but every once in a while a demon will come along and reach out and grasp it and for a moment you think you're going to get some relief and then he rips it off and throws it into a pit and you scream until you look down and see it has all grown back and you have a huge boner again, and when you try to touch it to reassure yourself of your old friend, imps come by and bite your hands off again.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-02-2008 03:52 PM

In hell, you somehow always end up saying the opposite of what you actually want to say.

Marcus Bales 05-02-2008 03:56 PM

In hell all grant requests are a day late no matter how early you submit them.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-02-2008 04:01 PM


Originally Posted by Marcus Bales (Post 385920)
until you look down and see it has all grown back...

Until, one day, it doesn't. When that time comes you're required to sing out loud all of your requests in a falsetto voice which makes everybody turn their backs on you.

Brynn 05-02-2008 09:21 PM

Hell has no poets.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-04-2008 03:41 PM

The only ice-cream stand in hell sells unusual flavours... They make you burn slowly from the inside, too.

lukkucairi 05-05-2008 12:34 AM

in hell, it's always allergy season, and there are no kleenex.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-05-2008 01:06 AM

In hell, the shortage of kleenex is due to the fact that it became the basic material for food-processing industries. All food is made of tissue paper and tastes like it, too.

Marcus Bales 05-05-2008 01:30 AM

In hell no one judges The Dictionary Game

lukkucairi 05-05-2008 08:50 PM

in hell, there are only ill-fitting brassieres.

Marcus Bales 05-05-2008 11:34 PM

In hell your cup chafes so bad you take it out -- and instantly a foul tip catches you in the nuts.

lukkucairi 05-05-2008 11:38 PM

in hell, you've lost your 3-iron.

Coffee 05-06-2008 02:42 AM

In Hell if you misbehave they say you will suffer for eternity on Earth if you don't shape up.

lukkucairi 05-06-2008 04:41 AM

in hell you have a lot of work to do the next day so you try to be good and get to sleep at 10 only to wake up again at 1:30 in a panic because it's spring and you've left the houseplants outside and it might be too cold for them and then you get up and find that it's not that cold after all and now you're awake in the middle of the night and you've got no idea what to do with yourself.

so you bring the houseplants in anyway.

every night.

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