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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

priceyfatprude 04-01-2006 07:09 PM

I guess the reason is, tighty whities can constrict the ol' boys & reduce sperm production. Boxers are better.

But dang, dudes, that was funny.

Jack Flanders 04-01-2006 08:56 PM

Hang 'm low, huh? Doesn't temperature also play a factor?

Avalon 04-01-2006 09:31 PM

In some cases yes^^^ but his job would then be the cause. Unless ofcourse he sleeps over the heating vent or some such.....

ambo 04-01-2006 10:28 PM

A man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!

He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asks his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"

"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband.

The drunk replies, "Over here on the swing."

Smartypants 04-03-2006 03:34 AM

Jon Stewart/Fox News

Smartypants 04-03-2006 02:47 PM

The McPassion

daverbee 04-03-2006 02:53 PM


craig johnston 04-03-2006 03:44 PM

ok, so this mate of mine came across the expression 'to do a mulligan'
in a newsweek article. she asked me what it meant, so i looked at
urban dictionary and found.....mulligan

#2 made me laugh

:)

jasmina 04-06-2006 07:54 AM

Sean Connery gets a call from his agent one day. The agent goes
"Sean, I've got you a job, starts tomorrow, early. You'll have
to be there for 10-ish".



Sean furrows his brow and says "Tennish? But I don't even have a
racket."

daverbee 04-06-2006 02:46 PM


daverbee 04-06-2006 05:08 PM

Outsourcing the Presidency to India


Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of May 31, 2006.

The move is being made to save the President's $400,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years.

"We believe this is a wise move financially. The cost savings should be significant," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). Reynolds, with the aid of the Government Accounting Office, has studied outsourcing of American jobs extensively. "We cannot expect to remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by email this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for sometime. Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India, will be assuming the office of President as of March 22, 2006.

Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits. It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the American Express call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President someday."

A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem because Bush was not familiar with the issues either. Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issues at all.

"We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years." Mr. Singh may have problems with the Texas drawl, but lately Bush has abandoned the "down home" persona in his effort to appear intelligent and on top of the Katrina situation.

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $240 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit.

Mr. Bush has been provided the out-placement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical work experience. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience shaking hands and phony smile.

Another possibility is Bush's re-enlistment in the Texas Air National Guard. His prior records are conspicuously vague but should he choose this option, he would likely be stationed in Waco, TX for a month, before being sent to Iraq, a country he has visited. "I've been there, I know all about Iraq," stated Mr. Bush, who gained invaluable knowledge of the country in a visit to the Baghdad Airport's terminal and gift shop.

Sources in Baghdad and Falluja say Mr. Bush would receive a warm reception from local Iraqis. They have asked to be provided with details of his arrival so that they might arrange an appropriate welcome.

ambo 04-06-2006 10:29 PM

Having just come from a company where 95% of the IT department was outsourced to India, this really struck a funny bone
:D

priceyfatprude 04-07-2006 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jackflanders
God, I sound like Dr. Phil. F him.

LOLOLOL

craig johnston 04-07-2006 09:42 AM


jasmina 04-07-2006 10:26 AM

that's so mean!!!


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