a wednesday (actual hump day) joke
The doctor said, "Good news is I can cure your headaches ... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need a new suit."
Joe entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see . size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see ... 34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck." Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see ... 9-1/2 E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see ... size 36." Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 32. A 32 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages.
--Thomas A. Edison
Last edited by ambo : 05-07-2003 at 11:18 PM.