I think because I will never make it to the darkroom (if it even exists anymore, who knows really, and what is it anyway?) I will always be a perpetually new toaster and therefore will toast. Here.
I'd like to think that because I only toast cornbread most of the time anyway, it gives other, newbier toasters the courage to jump in and ask the questions without fear, toasting more exotic breads than I could ever dream of. Besides, if I've toasted this long, anyone can.
So Mr. Zero, if I want to be a hip, accepted toaster, what are the rules for toasting breads?
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.