Kirk: No, Scotty. I've known Spock a long time and he doesn't swing that way. He is in danger of exploding, though, so get him down to the Transporter Room ASAP!
Scott: Aye, Captain! Doo ya think yae could help me reach tha buttons on tha elevator?
Kirk: Mr. Sulu, accompany Scott to the Transporter Room! And push those buttons!
Sulu: Right away, Captain! I think you should be made aware, Captain, that Mr. Spock has now swollen to a size much too large to fit into the elevator.
Kirk: Scotty, can we beam him directly into a safe place from the Bridge?
Scott: I canna answer that, Captain, he's swollen so big I canna get aroond him!
Kirk: Red Alert! All hands prepare for catastrophic internal explosion.
(to be continued)