Star Date 184.108.40.206
Mr Spock suggested the word of the day as Jugs, which seemed a little out of character.
Capt. James T Kirk: Spock? You want the word of the day to be "Jugs".
1st Officer Spock: Yes Captain (raised eyebrow)
K: Isnt that "illogical" Mr Spock?
S: Certainly not, Captain. It's the start of the Vulcan Month of reproduction where anything can happen, especailly sexually, and I dont have much time to consider the consequences. In fact I'm getting a bit of a stiffy right now.
K: Bones? What do you know of Vulcan mating season?
Mediacl Officer McCoy: It's not fully documented Jim, but I think we have to get him to a space brothel right away. He could blow his custard at any time.
K: Is that bad Bones...I mean everyone has a polish now and agai..
McC: Jim! If he pops his load the Enterprise will be completely sprayed with Vulcan jizz!
K: OK, Mr Sulu set course for Rigel 69. Bones help me get Spock down to sick bay.
McC: Someone'll have to distract him Jim, I'm not getting near his alien whanger when it's like that (points at tent in Spocks uniform)
K: Uhura, pop your baps in his face while I get Scotty to help us get him beamed off somewhere.
Lt Uhura: Captain, you want me to expose my brown puppies in his face?
K: That's it, get the funbags out Uhura.
U: Okay......ziiiiiiiip ...*thump, thump*
K: I agree Bones, but we havent got time...Uhura, get your knockers round his pointy ears, quick.
1st Engineer Scott: Wha's goan on heer the noo Captain? Nice rack Uhura...
McC : Scotty, we have to get Spock to a safe area, before he blows his space load...
K: He's under the spell of Uhura's jubblies, get him to the transporter room...
S: He's not wantin tae go Captain, I dinna know if I can hold him, I think he's gonna blow....
TO BE CONTINUED...