Windows Error Message Haikus - ZEFRANK.COM

Audreyvgs · 11-15-2003, 04:56 PM

I didn't write these, they came in an email, but I thought they were a good start:

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

--------------------------------------------

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

--------------------------------------------

Program aborting
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

--------------------------------------------

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

--------------------------------------------

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

--------------------------------------------

Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

--------------------------------------------

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

--------------------------------------------

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

--------------------------------------------

Three things are certain
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

--------------------------------------------

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

--------------------------------------------

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

--------------------------------------------

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

--------------------------------------------

Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

--------------------------------------------

I ate your Web page.
Forgive me; it was tasty
And tart on my tongue

11-15-2003, 05:33 PM

Windows haiku:

The publisher called.
She wanted to know how to
open a CD

on her computer
I told her how to do it
from vague memory.

I think it would be better to call this thread “computer error haikus.” Most computers have errors. Including the Mac OS. Here are some that I come across regularly:

The printer could not
be found, “mathlib” is missing again:
you know the drill, man.

Your script’s bad syntax
is starting to piss me off,
so re-write it please,

and don’t expect me
to help you to understand
the things you did wrong.

The driver and the
scanner ain’t talkin’ no mo,’
Photoshop junky.

An unknown error
has occurred. we don’t quite know
the reason why, though.

An error type two:
apps are eating memory
like a cheese croissant.

Postscript error! No!
I really don’t like this kind!
Grumble grrr complain.

Audreyvgs · 11-15-2003, 10:41 PM

error number one
computer low on memory
error number six

nycwriters · 11-16-2003, 10:42 PM

Four-oh-four *blink*
What you seek cannot be found
Time to look elsewhere

ambo · 12-03-2003, 07:20 PM

Can't do what you want
Don't want to, nope, not gonna
Go outside and play

Audreyvgs · 12-04-2003, 11:30 AM

why do you freeze up
when I forgot to save it?
why is it this way?

Audreyvgs · 12-04-2003, 11:31 AM

I can feel your pain
to crash again and again
you must be p c

catbelly · 12-05-2003, 09:06 PM

IBM Thinkpad
Little red scrolly button
Just like a nipple

RevEf · 12-21-2003, 05:18 AM

The A: drive's broken?
I think you should probably
Insert a quarter.

Strorg · 12-23-2003, 07:47 PM

Disc not inserted.
Cancel, Retry, or Abort?
Rain again next week.

surflugen · 01-06-2004, 10:29 PM

cntrl, option, del
Oops, this is not a PC
comand, alt, escape

01-08-2004, 03:31 AM

command option escape:
the finder has quit
no duh, computer.

Error seventeen?
That one is brand new to me.
Damn! That’s a mean one!

Error of type two
over and over again-
do not throw your shoe.

A fatal error
has occurred. Pagemaker quits.
The server shuts down.

Pagemaker tells me:
“Bad file type;” changes its mind
when I relaunch it.

funkytuba · 01-09-2004, 02:04 AM

your hard drive has failed
sounds like 737
spins like a raw egg

no backups? you're toast
eight months of data destroyed
window's over there

IT person laughs
his mirth tempers your resolve
castration's too good

angelartec · 01-09-2004, 11:24 PM

This Folder you seek,
is Access Denied. Sucker!
Those files are stuck!

Oops! Windows Error:
This computer dislikes you.
Commencing break down.

RevEf · 01-13-2004, 02:13 PM

A cable is missing
Choose between monitor or
maybe CPU

11-15-2003, 04:56 PM	#1
Audreyvgs Blue's Clues Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh? Posts: 5,412	Computer Error Message Haikus I didn't write these, they came in an email, but I thought they were a good start: The Web site you seek Cannot be located, but Countless more exist. -------------------------------------------- Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and reboot. Order shall return. -------------------------------------------- Program aborting Close all that you have worked on. You ask far too much. -------------------------------------------- Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears your screams. -------------------------------------------- Yesterday it worked. Today it is not working. Windows is like that. -------------------------------------------- Your file was so big. It might be very useful. But now it is gone. -------------------------------------------- Stay the patient course. Of little worth is your ire. The network is down. -------------------------------------------- A crash reduces Your expensive computer To a simple stone. -------------------------------------------- Three things are certain Death, taxes and lost data. Guess which has occurred. -------------------------------------------- You step in the stream, But the water has moved on. This page is not here. -------------------------------------------- Out of memory. We wish to hold the whole sky, But we never will. -------------------------------------------- Having been erased, The document you're seeking Must now be retyped. -------------------------------------------- Serious error. All shortcuts have disappeared. Screen. Mind. Both are blank. -------------------------------------------- I ate your Web page. Forgive me; it was tasty And tart on my tongue Last edited by Audreyvgs : 11-15-2003 at 10:39 PM.

12-03-2003, 07:20 PM	#5
ambo feline, naturally Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: California Posts: 4,407	Can't do what you want Don't want to, nope, not gonna Go outside and play __________________ Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages. --Thomas A. Edison

12-04-2003, 11:31 AM	#7
Audreyvgs Blue's Clues Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh? Posts: 5,412	I can feel your pain to crash again and again you must be p c __________________ I just LOVE what you haven't done with the place!

01-09-2004, 02:04 AM	#13
funkytuba Spone to Proonerisms Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 4,531	your hard drive has failed sounds like 737 spins like a raw egg no backups? you're toast eight months of data destroyed window's over there IT person laughs his mirth tempers your resolve castration's too good __________________ ...and another handful of almonds

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11-15-2003, 05:33 PM	#2
rapscalious rob Posts: n/a	Windows haiku: The publisher called. She wanted to know how to open a CD on her computer I told her how to do it from vague memory. I think it would be better to call this thread “computer error haikus.” Most computers have errors. Including the Mac OS. Here are some that I come across regularly: The printer could not be found, “mathlib” is missing again: you know the drill, man. Your script’s bad syntax is starting to piss me off, so re-write it please, and don’t expect me to help you to understand the things you did wrong. The driver and the scanner ain’t talkin’ no mo,’ Photoshop junky. An unknown error has occurred. we don’t quite know the reason why, though. An error type two: apps are eating memory like a cheese croissant. Postscript error! No! I really don’t like this kind! Grumble grrr complain.

11-15-2003, 10:41 PM	#3
Audreyvgs Blue's Clues Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh? Posts: 5,412	error number one computer low on memory error number six

11-16-2003, 10:42 PM	#4
nycwriters Stuck in T.O. Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Floundering Posts: 4,134	Four-oh-four blink What you seek cannot be found Time to look elsewhere

12-04-2003, 11:30 AM	#6
Audreyvgs Blue's Clues Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh? Posts: 5,412	why do you freeze up when I forgot to save it? why is it this way?

12-05-2003, 09:06 PM	#8
catbelly monkey Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: the north Posts: 1,757	IBM Thinkpad Little red scrolly button Just like a nipple

12-21-2003, 05:18 AM	#9
RevEf Descendant of the lings Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 237	The A: drive's broken? I think you should probably Insert a quarter.

12-23-2003, 07:47 PM	#10
Strorg Registered User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1	Disc not inserted. Cancel, Retry, or Abort? Rain again next week.

01-06-2004, 10:29 PM	#11
surflugen getting Donuts Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Long Beach, CA Posts: 1,091	cntrl, option, del Oops, this is not a PC comand, alt, escape

01-08-2004, 03:31 AM	#12
rapscalious rob Posts: n/a	command option escape: the finder has quit no duh, computer. Error seventeen? That one is brand new to me. Damn! That’s a mean one! Error of type two over and over again- do not throw your shoe. A fatal error has occurred. Pagemaker quits. The server shuts down. Pagemaker tells me: “Bad file type;” changes its mind when I relaunch it.

01-09-2004, 11:24 PM	#14
angelartec Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 1	This Folder you seek, is Access Denied. Sucker! Those files are stuck! Oops! Windows Error: This computer dislikes you. Commencing break down.

01-13-2004, 02:13 PM	#15
RevEf Descendant of the lings Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 237	A cable is missing Choose between monitor or maybe CPU