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Old 09-18-2006, 12:37 PM   #226
ambo
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Once upon a time, there was a goddess named Trisherina, and to this day she is remembered each September 18th, by the placing of wreaths upon heads and widespread naked dancing.
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Old 09-18-2006, 02:02 PM   #227
Brynn
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Fiction, please!!!
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 09-18-2006, 02:34 PM   #228
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Away out there they have a name for rain and snow and fire.
The rain is Tess, the fire's Joe and they call snow Trisherina,
Trisherina, Trisherina, They call snow Trisherina.




(Does blatant plagiarism count as bad writing? )
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Old 09-18-2006, 09:09 PM   #229
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more of an "homage," really
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 09-21-2006, 04:37 PM   #230
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.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.

Last edited by Brynn : 09-22-2006 at 08:53 PM. Reason: double entry of post ... weird
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Old 09-21-2006, 04:38 PM   #231
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Well thanks everyone - I got a kick out of it - very funny entries, all five of 'em.

The Better Put Something On, It's Starting to Get Chilly Outside Award goes to Ambo for:

"Once upon a time, there was a goddess named Trisherina, and to this day she is remembered each September 18th, by the placing of wreaths upon heads and widespread naked dancing."

An article in High Times Magazine entitled "How to Make a Dragonfly Orgasm" will be dedicated to Dinzdale next to my byline for his entry:
"The crack surged through her veins, making her eye's bug out to resemble a dragon fly having a really wild orgasm."

(I know I know, High Times really just celebrates pot, but I keep submitting the articles)

Marcus Bales made me giggle with his entry:

"Lightning exploded and thunder boomed as the doctor exclaimed "Call this child ... ", but the thunder was so loud, none of us heard what he had said, so we asked "What?" and the doctor repeated "Tr ..." but the lightning glared and the thunder rattled the house, so we asked again "What?" and the doctor, irritated now, shook the child vigorously and shouted "Tri ..." but the lightning lit up the sky like noon and the thunder crashed violently and we asked again "What?" and the doctor, loosing his grip on the child still slippery with amniotic fluid and blood, dropped her on her head as he said "Oops! Trisherina!" and the lightning flared again, and the thunder growled."

For this effort he wins a commemorative plaque from the American Trial Lawyer's Association, Medical malpractice division, and a tip o' the hat.

I laughed out loud at Coffee's entry, and am relieved that we can still call the wind "Mariah" in spite of this painful parody:

"Away out there they have a name for rain and snow and fire.
The rain is Tess, the fire's Joe and they call snow Trisherina,
Trisherina, Trisherina, They call snow Trisherina."

He wins the coveted Dishonorable Mention and a low bow of thanks.

And of course, that means that Trish is the Winner - not just for being a good sport, not just for going first, not just for being consistently light-handed but dreadful in her entire body of work in her BLF pseudo-literary offerings, but also for her use of the impossible-to-sustain third person plural to get around the genre requirements in this little gem:

"Inuknukshuk looked serene as she rode the ice floe into the inky blackness, so heavily swaddled in skins that she was unable to raise a hand back to us as we watched her get smaller and smaller, eventually disappearing from view."

I hate stories set in the cold. Congratulations!
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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Old 09-21-2006, 04:56 PM   #232
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Well, thank God that's over. Thanks, Brynn!

I would like to read first-line submissions made in the genre of Political Propaganda. Whichever one I like reading least wins the next honour.
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Old 09-21-2006, 11:01 PM   #233
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Tonight, God's aweful truth about the heinous goings on in Iran brought to you by America's most watched, most discussed, most trusted news team...The O'Really Factor.
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Old 09-22-2006, 12:19 AM   #234
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One might wonder why "a few bad apples" were doing the same tortures in Guantanamo Bay, Afghanistan, and Abu Ghraib; one might wonder why a professional soldier of good reputation such as General Sanchez would tell the International Red Cross that US actions in Iraq were not bound by the Geneva Convention; one might wonder why a man fired for prisoner abuse from two US prison systems came to be the contractor in charge of setting up Abu Ghraib; one might wonder why the Attorney General had his assistant devise a legal rationale to permit torture; one might wonder why the President had his White House Counsel do the same; one might wonder whether this is the work of the liberal media, or whether it's Bill Clinton's fault; one might wonder whether someone ordered torture.
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Old 09-22-2006, 04:46 AM   #235
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today, my dear friends, concerned citizens all over this country, the greatest place on earth, have come together in the fight against the freedom of speech.
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Old 09-22-2006, 05:15 PM   #236
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As he started his walk down the hard, cold, grey, marbled steps of the Capital building, the wind swirling autumn leaves around his head, lifting his toupee in time with the gusts, Trent mused to himself, "I wonder if my constituents will understand that when I said segregation was a good thing, that it doesn't really mean I'm a racist," before dismissing that crazy idea and heading out for a lunch of steak frites and bourbon.
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Old 09-23-2006, 01:40 AM   #237
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Post Pop a gander at THIS prime(time) example!!!

Casting a wistful look to the Manhattan sky, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad emerged from the NBC building, hoping that nice Brian Williams fellow could successfully show the world just how gravely he has been misunderstood, and with that great hope in mind, strolled casually in the direction of Ground Zero
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...or words to that effect.

Last edited by dddrum : 09-23-2006 at 01:57 AM. Reason: Removal of the following passage: "muttering that meaningless, totally innocuous mantra of which this sexy, square-jawed statesman was so oddly fond: 'Death to America... death to the Pope!"
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Old 09-23-2006, 01:03 PM   #238
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You will find spending other people's money is what a "free country" is all about, quipped the Libertarian challenger.
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Old 09-24-2006, 02:46 PM   #239
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Hi, I had hoped that the ellipsis/nobody person would take up the gauntlet and do this round but I know that you all want to start on the next challenge, so I will give you a hasty rundown:

Many of the entries were too well written or otherwise clever to really be counted as truly execrable. Gilly's, footlong's, and xfox's made me laugh the most, which at the very least should not be intentional in political propaganda. So on that basis I am going to give xfox the big dishonour of taking on the next round.
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Old 09-25-2006, 04:06 PM   #240
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dang - missed it! computer's down

here's one anyway:

As the ketchup-doused freedom fries spilled to the ground, Laura shed a proud, patriotic tear for the wasted food, which reminded her sharply and suddenly of her brother ( a model for the army and whose face was plastered all over the country in recruitment posters) and she reflected on the possibility that his brave blood might be spilled in the same way someday, but she comforted herself in knowing that her president knew exactly what he was doing as she asked for another order.
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.
2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.
3. Your foot will change direction.
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