a haiku story attempt 2 - ZEFRANK.COM

zefrank · 07-16-2003, 02:19 PM

the first one is great, don't get me wrong...i just think we can do better from what we've learned...

someone kick us off:

ambo · 07-16-2003, 04:04 PM

this year, i'll set goals

surflugen · 07-16-2003, 06:27 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked

surflugen · 07-16-2003, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zefrank
the first one is great, don't get me wrong...i just think we can do better from what we've learned...

someone kick us off:

What did we learn, or what would you like us to beleive we have learned. I always feel I am trying to lead the story somewhere but know its a crap shoot. Should there be any guidelines or back story to folow?

CatchrNdRy · 07-16-2003, 08:39 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

amanda · 07-16-2003, 09:03 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"

zefrank · 07-16-2003, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by surflugen
What did we learn, or what would you like us to beleive we have learned. I always feel I am trying to lead the story somewhere but know its a crap shoot. Should there be any guidelines or back story to folow?

umm...maybe nothing...i'll keep working on both

surflugen · 07-17-2003, 01:54 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin

zefrank · 07-17-2003, 03:16 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

ambo · 07-17-2003, 03:19 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside

amanda · 07-17-2003, 09:31 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings

ambo · 07-19-2003, 09:00 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
mumbling to myself

amanda · 07-21-2003, 09:51 PM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
mumbling to myself

"it will work this time."

zefrank · 07-22-2003, 12:29 AM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
mumbling to myself

"it will work this time."
"slow and steady wins the race"

trisherina · 07-22-2003, 12:48 AM

this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
mumbling to myself

"it will work this time."
"slow and steady wins the race"
I drew a tortoise

07-16-2003, 02:19 PM	#1
zefrank ------------- Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: brooklyn NY Posts: 1,581	a haiku story attempt 2 the first one is great, don't get me wrong...i just think we can do better from what we've learned... someone kick us off:

07-16-2003, 04:04 PM	#2
ambo feline, naturally Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: California Posts: 4,407	this year, i'll set goals __________________ Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages. --Thomas A. Edison

07-17-2003, 03:19 PM	#10
ambo feline, naturally Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: California Posts: 4,407	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer" he said with a sheepish grin "and you've never played." i pushed him aside __________________ Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages. --Thomas A. Edison

07-19-2003, 09:00 PM	#12
ambo feline, naturally Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: California Posts: 4,407	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer" he said with a sheepish grin "and you've never played." i pushed him aside and went back to my drawings mumbling to myself __________________ Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages. --Thomas A. Edison

07-22-2003, 12:48 AM	#15
trisherina meretricious dilettante Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,068	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer" he said with a sheepish grin "and you've never played." i pushed him aside and went back to my drawings mumbling to myself "it will work this time." "slow and steady wins the race" I drew a tortoise __________________ Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard

07-16-2003, 06:27 PM	#3
surflugen getting Donuts Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Long Beach, CA Posts: 1,091	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked

07-16-2003, 08:39 PM	#5
CatchrNdRy monkey Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Tucson, AZ Posts: 26	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt

07-16-2003, 09:03 PM	#6
amanda old s'cool Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,426	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer"

07-17-2003, 01:54 PM	#8
surflugen getting Donuts Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Long Beach, CA Posts: 1,091	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer" he said with a sheepish grin

07-17-2003, 03:16 PM	#9
zefrank ------------- Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: brooklyn NY Posts: 1,581	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer" he said with a sheepish grin "and you've never played."

07-17-2003, 09:31 PM	#11
amanda old s'cool Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,426	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer" he said with a sheepish grin "and you've never played." i pushed him aside and went back to my drawings

07-21-2003, 09:51 PM	#13
amanda old s'cool Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,426	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer" he said with a sheepish grin "and you've never played." i pushed him aside and went back to my drawings mumbling to myself "it will work this time."

07-22-2003, 12:29 AM	#14
zefrank ------------- Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: brooklyn NY Posts: 1,581	this year, i'll set goals I said to him as he gawked smiled with contempt "goals are for soccer" he said with a sheepish grin "and you've never played." i pushed him aside and went back to my drawings mumbling to myself "it will work this time." "slow and steady wins the race"

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