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Old 08-14-2005, 08:53 PM   #91
funkytuba
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wow. I was obviously truly disturbed during that time
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Old 08-15-2005, 01:47 AM   #92
Hyakujo's Fox
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must...

resist...

typing...
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Old 08-15-2005, 01:57 AM   #93
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I could do just one more and that would be it.
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Old 08-15-2005, 02:10 AM   #94
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When the stable collapsed during a storm, they had to bring the donkey indoors. The padre wiped his buddy dry, but wet dog odour has nothing on this- and nothing will get it off.

PARISHONERS COMPLAIN PRIEST SMELLS LIKE ASS.
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Old 08-15-2005, 02:20 AM   #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hyakujo's Fox
I could do just one more and that would be it.
You know you have like 50 more in your head.

I know you have like 50 more in your head.

Why not share them with the world?
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Old 08-15-2005, 02:42 AM   #96
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The priest loved skeet shooting. Of course, he took the donkey with him. The donkey would graze at a respectable distance away, but the priest was a very bad shot. After a particularly mismanaged effort, he watched in horror as his skeet fell untouched to the ground and his shell descended in a different direction entirely -- straight for the donkey's bent head. He shouted the donkey's name, and as its head came up in response, certain death was narrowly averted.

PRIEST HEADS UP OWN ASS
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Old 08-15-2005, 09:06 AM   #97
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One day some thieves stole the donkey, the fourth such heist in that neighbourhood. That weekend, in his sermon, the priest urged the wrongdoers to return what they had stolen, from others as well as him, and reminded them, and the congregation, that Jesus Christ forgives all. "If," he addressed the thieves, "you are not here before me today in the house of the Lord, I hope will will be soon."

PRIEST COURTS ASS BANDITS
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Old 08-15-2005, 06:49 PM   #98
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So it happened that the priest went on a church-sponsored junket to a foreign country. One day while on a break between ministering to lepers and feeding the downtrodden he found himself in a hole-in-the-wall trinkets shop. There he saw a brilliant but very expensive jewel-encrusted tisane steeping vessel, Being an expert in such antiquities he felt drawn to it and simply had to have it. However, in order to buy it, he would have to sell off all his worldly posessions and he couldn't reasonably continue to feed his beloved pet donkey if he did so. He tussled with the notion for some time but in the end he chose to keep the donkey.

Headline?
PRIEST TRIPS: GOES ASS OVER TEAKETTLE
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Old 08-15-2005, 07:28 PM   #99
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The priest worked for a cash-strapped church, and although a generous donor had paid for him to start a Web site to keep parishioners informed of church activities, he worried about the ever-increasing maintenance costs. It was a lovely site, too, and people were constantly posting links on other sites that referenced the many images there. Concerned with his lack of finances and annoyed with the theft of his bandwidth, the priest wrote a little code that would substitue any links to the church-site's images with a photo he had taken of his donkey one day when the donkey was in a playfully obstinate mood.

Headline:

INTERNET USERS SURPRISED BY PHOTO OF PRIEST'S CHEEKY ASS.
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Old 08-16-2005, 04:24 AM   #100
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The priest, worried about the donkey's fitness, trained it to run a small obstacle course. The donkey took to it, and it's time got better and better. The priest's chest swelled with pride; a nun, irritated by his constant boasting, declared in front of witnesses she she could complete the course faster than the donkey. The story spread around the town, and soon the race was on.

The sister showed up in track pants and running shoes. The mayor yelled "GO!" and off they raced. The nun was a marvel: she took the jumps like an Olympic hurdler, and ran like a jack rabbit, leaving the sorry donkey in her dust.

NUN LICKS PRIEST'S ASS

all-time low.
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Old 08-16-2005, 05:39 AM   #101
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The priest decided to open up the petting zoo once again. This time asking the press to interview some of the children in hopes to get better publicity then before. The priest smiled as he noticed a two-year-old girl excitedly tell the reporter how much fun she was having playing with the donkey, wishing that she could get her own one day.

Headline:

LITTLE GIRL STATES: SHE WANTS A “BADONKADONK” JUST LIKE THE PRIEST’S ASS.
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Old 08-17-2005, 01:04 AM   #102
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i really don't hinki should be doing this...

The priest was on his way to the vet...his donkey in the trailer behind him was suffering from a spider bite. As he turned onto Highway 43 he was blindsided by an oncoming truck carrying lightening rods for the new baseball field at James P. Hewitt high School (the lights needed protection from the frequent heat lightening storms). Donkey was fine...a little shaken up...but fine.

Headline;

PRIEST'S ASS GETS RAMMED BY HUNDREDS OF EXTRA LONG RODS
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Old 08-17-2005, 01:07 AM   #103
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no explanation needed...

ASS GETS FOOT AND MOUTH: FEELING BETTER NOW
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Old 08-18-2005, 12:37 AM   #104
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At breakfast the next day, the priest met a man named Frank. They fell into a long conversation in the course of which the priest told a number of stories about how smart and loyal the donkey was. Frank convinced the priest to sell him the donkey. The priest whistled, and the donkey trotted up to the door. The donkey's appearance, ragged and dirty as the priest, outraged Frank, who threw his hot beverage at the donkey.

HEADLINE: Frank Throws Coffee Out On His Ass
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Old 08-26-2005, 03:55 PM   #105
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The priest decided to open a confectionery to raise money for the cause of bringing the word of God to the savages. Using his great-grandmother Benoit's cherished maple fudge recipes, he soon found himself with so many customers that demand forced him to wholesale; fortunately, he had his beloved donkey to help him make deliveries to the many shops that clamoured for his tasty wares.

The local headline?

PRIEST CONFIRMS ASS WELL SUITED FOR PACKING FUDGE
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