ZEFRANK.COM - message board  

Go Back   ZEFRANK.COM - message board > FAST CHAT
FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rating: Thread Rating: 20 votes, 5.00 average. Display Modes
Old 03-14-2006, 02:40 PM   #61
zefrank
-------------
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: brooklyn NY
Posts: 1,581
chuck norris was engaged once, but he blew his fiance a kiss and her head exploded into a giant cloud of blood shaped like chuck norris blowing his fiance a kiss.
zefrank is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 02:44 PM   #62
zefrank
-------------
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: brooklyn NY
Posts: 1,581
just when i though JT was a genius:

http://www.4q.cc/index.php?pid=fact&person=chuck
zefrank is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 03:07 PM   #63
BigHairJ
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
The Karate Kid is the remnant of a Chuck Norris zit.
BigHairJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 03:24 PM   #64
nutinashell
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: austin - sxsw country
Posts: 9
The government created NORAD to protect us .... it really stands for "Norris - One Really Amazing Dude"...
nutinashell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 03:25 PM   #65
Jack Flanders
landscaping is fun
 
Jack Flanders's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: up river and down river
Posts: 4,815
Quote:
Originally Posted by zefrank
just when i though JT was a genius:

http://www.4q.cc/index.php?pid=fact&person=chuck

"On the first day, God created the heavens and the earth, looked down, and then said,"Holy Shit, is that Chuck Norris?" "

HAHA!!!
Jack Flanders is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 03:29 PM   #66
lapietra
half baked
 
lapietra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: just ducky
Posts: 12,078
Chuck Norris can hear dog whistles. He can also bend them with his mind.
__________________
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. ~ Mel Brooks
lapietra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 03:59 PM   #67
Coffee
Cheeses Save
 
Coffee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Floating
Posts: 9,204
On the first day Chuck Norris saw that the heavens and earth were without form and that it was too damn dark. He saw that the Spirit of God was moving over the face of the waters. Chuck Norris punched the lights out of God...and Chuck Norris was less annoyed than before he kicked God's ass.

On the second day the heavens and the firmament formed from the bits of God that were strewn about, without Chuck Norris' permission.

On the third day Chuck Norris kicked the ass of Heaven and Earth and from the moldy decaying remains the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and Chuck Norris was only slightly pissed off.

On the fourth day Chuck Norris round house kicked, and then ate, most of the grass, herb, seeds and fruit, whereupon on the fifth day he took a crap. And he saw that it was good.

Whence whereupon upon on the sixth day from his fifth day's issue didst the animals and the creatures and the fish of the land and the seas didst arise, in Chuck Norris' image.

Chuck Norris didn't need to rest on the 7th day.

Chuck Norris has been kicking the shit out of everything ever since 24/7/365.

Last edited by Coffee : 03-14-2006 at 08:32 PM.
Coffee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 04:49 PM   #68
Toffee
Registered User
 
Toffee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2
I've got some bearded muppet wearing a cowboy hat scratching at my office door. Is that him?
Toffee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 05:24 PM   #69
lapietra
half baked
 
lapietra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: just ducky
Posts: 12,078
Chuck Norris never scratches at office doors. He busts them in with a roundhouse kick. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris usually moves so fast, he's invisible, even to video cameras.
__________________
As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes. ~ Mel Brooks
lapietra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 05:33 PM   #70
dinzdale
King of the špatnýs
 
dinzdale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: was that dog
Posts: 9,411
Quote:
Originally Posted by Toffee
I've got some bearded muppet wearing a cowboy hat scratching at my office door. Is that him?
No, Mr Blair, that's your wife.
dinzdale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 05:37 PM   #71
Audreyvgs
Blue's Clues
 
Audreyvgs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: on Yur Last Nerve, huh?
Posts: 5,412
If Ze was half as tough as Chuck Norris, he'd still be twice as tough as Toffee.
__________________
I just LOVE what you haven't done with the place!
Audreyvgs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 05:52 PM   #72
Hyakujo's Fox
left hanging
 
Hyakujo's Fox's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream
Posts: 10,071
Chuck Norris made a stone so heavy God couldn't lift it.
Hyakujo's Fox is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 05:53 PM   #73
Jack Flanders
landscaping is fun
 
Jack Flanders's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: up river and down river
Posts: 4,815
Quote:
Originally Posted by dinzdale
No, Mr Blair, that's your wife.

HAHA!!!!
Jack Flanders is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 06:47 PM   #74
Coffee
Cheeses Save
 
Coffee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Floating
Posts: 9,204
Quote:
Chuck Norris made a stone so heavy God couldn't lift it.
Speaking of stones...this stone formed in Chuck Norris' bladder. Chuck Norris passed it naturally and without strain, shooting it several continents away.

.
Coffee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2006, 07:57 PM   #75
karma_queen
Minx
 
karma_queen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Brighton, darling!
Posts: 1,046
from the official chuck norris website: (i kid you not)


IN RESPONSE TO THE "RANDOM FACTS" THAT ARE BEING GENERATED ON THE INTERNET


I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris
karma_queen is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -3. The time now is 03:16 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.