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Old 04-01-2006, 01:39 AM   #136
Smartypants
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The priest returns to the monastery where dinner is being prepared. He is still upset by the whole ordeal with the snake and he has little patience for the antics of the rest of the menagerie that roams the grounds. One particularly mischievous chimpanzee has gotten into the kitchen and overturned the evening's stew.

He instructs one of the young nuns to whip up something else, suggesting Mexican food might be nice, while he takes aside the chimp to punish him for his bad behavior.

Headline on the feature story in the Living Section of the following Sunday paper:

LIFE IN THE MONASTERY: NUN PREPARES A FISH TACO WHILE PRIEST SPANKS HIS MONKEY.
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Last edited by Smartypants : 04-01-2006 at 01:43 AM.
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Old 04-01-2006, 01:53 AM   #137
trisherina
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Chuck sets off on a rampage in characteristic fashion, rendering animals monocular left and right. He tackles a nearby hedgehog, then a dog, and ends up with a cat. Seeing that the cat is already missing an eye, he is filled with remorse for the poor creature that he came so close to blinding completely. He decides to befriend the cat, and to his surprise, the donkey is not jealous at all but takes to the cat with alacrity, and allows it to ride on his back, head nested between his ears. The next time Chuck comes to town with his menagerie, there is quite a commotion at the sight. The happy trio is surrounded by curious townsfolk as they window shop at a local fishmonger's.

Headline:

CHUCK'S ASS LIKES A ONE-EYED CAT; PEEPING IN A SEAFOOD STORE
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Old 04-01-2006, 02:57 AM   #138
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Chuck decided to buy a bakery and starts baking again. He decided to make crackers in the shapes of his pets. The donkey especially loved them.

Headline:


Chuck's Ass Prefers Pusssy Ass Crackers
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Old 04-01-2006, 12:50 PM   #139
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Time has passed, the donkey and the priest have become very good partners. They excel in their nut-selling, baking, et cetera. The SvladvLonian Prime Minister hears of their buisness prowess and offer them Diamond-Starred Svladlonian citizenship. The Prime Minister, on seeing the pair, comments on the donkey being what it is.

Headline:

SVLADLONIAN PRIME MINISTER LABELS PRIEST'S BEST FRIEND AS "A BIG HAIRY ASS".
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Old 06-02-2006, 01:39 AM   #140
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Old 06-22-2006, 02:33 AM   #141
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Medical bills for the donkey finally broke the budget of the parish. As a fundraiser, the priest decided to hold a caption contest on a popular website. The picture? He dressed up as his beloved donkey, had a parishoner snap some poses and he put them on the site.

Headline:
PRIEST POSTS ON INTERNET: MAKES ASS OF HIMSELF
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Old 06-25-2006, 06:13 PM   #142
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Eventually, members of the Parish agree that the donkey needs to start earning his own keep. With the help of student aid, the donkey is sent to college, where he earns a degree in Animal Psychiatry. The parishioners adore the donkey for his accomplihment.

Headline:

PARISH LOVES A SMART ASS
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