Private Thoughts in public places

[12"razormix]

i wish i had schema!

[priceyfatprude]

JMH
March 28, 1975-May 16, 1995

What has changed since you've gone? When you were here:


Grandma was alive, about to kick cancer's ass & steal its lunch money for the second time. The third time will kill her.

P&K have never been very stable, but she will lose 100# by starving herself on a "fat-free" diet of her own making, despite no nutrition classes, and a 9th grade dropout education. She will then leave him w/6 kids, the oldest one pregnant.

Aunt S was still married...to a man. That'll change soon after Grandma is dead. Same w/J coming out--but didn't we all see that one coming?

Aunt M will move to Mexico & we will rarely see her again, just like I predicted when they got married. The only one I say "Told Ya So" to is my mother.

Your wife will remarry, have another son. Her new husband will have gastric bypass & be attractive to a LOT more women for the first time in his life, which he will take advantage of, leaving your widow to raise 4 boys on her own. Your kids are great kids though & she is a good mom, even if she does look like Pam Anderson.

Your brother always looked up to you, he is sort of a shell of a person now. He really needed you to keep him in line. After all, next to you, how bad could he look? But w/o you, he is lost. It's been a bit sad to watch.

Your parents still haven't recovered. I doubt they ever will.

As for me, your accident left me w/scars that took almost a decade to heal. Some of them never will.

I thought Monday would be different, and although I was a lil mopey, it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

Here's a poem your mom wrote:


I believe in angels
Some are easy to see
The faces of friends & family
A grandchild on my knee

I believe in angels
Some are not so clear
A gentle touch on a broken heart
A whisper in my ear

I believe in angels
I have a special one
He was here but for a short time
For my angel is my son

It's been in my Dayrunner for the last 10 & that's where it'll stay. We love you & will miss you forever!

[Clytie]

love this quote:

"women who behave rarely make history"

[Brynn]

^^^pfp, that was a beautiful, heartfelt piece of writing. Very moving.


I blame my lack of math skills on a kid's joke that I heard when I was in fourth grade.
Q. Why is six afraid of seven?
A. Because seven ate nine.

Thereafter, I was unable to concentrate on the numbers as abstract entities because I was too busy anthropomorphizing them. I'd look at 7 and think "Well, of course 6 is afraid of him. He eats other numbers, and he's all sharp edges, and he's harder to add up than 5, the little chubby fat kid he beats up regularly. He's sad too, because his big brother 8 got eaten. 6 is afraid of 7, but is a little braver and a little more stylish than 5. 6 has to sit next to 7 all the time, so has learned to get along with 7, and because of that, has avoided being eaten, and overall is a much nicer number - especially to 5 because 6 feels sorry for him" and other things of the like. Meanwhile, all the other kids were learning their multiplication tables and I got more and more behind. By the time I was in 9th grade, this stuff had gotten even more elaborate and complex (4 is 3's big sister, and is very mischievous - she gets other numbers in trouble and throws them together in ways other numbers don't, like in 4 x 4 = 16. There's no way busy 6 would ever get to talk to stupid little 1 otherwise).
I couldn't help it. And there was no explaining this absurd problem to my parents, who could only see a straight-A student who was slacking off.

[venusupnorth]

Originally Posted by priceyfatprude

JMH
March 28, 1975-May 16, 1995

What has changed since you've gone? When you were here:


Grandma was alive, about to kick cancer's ass & steal its lunch money for the second time. The third time will kill her.

P&K have never been very stable, but she will lose 100# by starving herself on a "fat-free" diet of her own making, despite no nutrition classes, and a 9th grade dropout education. She will then leave him w/6 kids, the oldest one pregnant.

Aunt S was still married...to a man. That'll change soon after Grandma is dead. Same w/J coming out--but didn't we all see that one coming?

Aunt M will move to Mexico & we will rarely see her again, just like I predicted when they got married. The only one I say "Told Ya So" to is my mother.

Your wife will remarry, have another son. Her new husband will have gastric bypass & be attractive to a LOT more women for the first time in his life, which he will take advantage of, leaving your widow to raise 4 boys on her own. Your kids are great kids though & she is a good mom, even if she does look like Pam Anderson.

Your brother always looked up to you, he is sort of a shell of a person now. He really needed you to keep him in line. After all, next to you, how bad could he look? But w/o you, he is lost. It's been a bit sad to watch.

Your parents still haven't recovered. I doubt they ever will.

As for me, your accident left me w/scars that took almost a decade to heal. Some of them never will.

I thought Monday would be different, and although I was a lil mopey, it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

Here's a poem your mom wrote:


I believe in angels
Some are easy to see
The faces of friends & family
A grandchild on my knee

I believe in angels
Some are not so clear
A gentle touch on a broken heart
A whisper in my ear

I believe in angels
I have a special one
He was here but for a short time
For my angel is my son

It's been in my Dayrunner for the last 10 & that's where it'll stay. We love you & will miss you forever!

Weird! Does that come from your reality? It sounds too much like mine???

[trisherina]

This time I absolutely will not stop until someone gets it.

[lapietra]

it is *so easy* for you to judge... too bad you're not interested in facts.

[Clytie]

purple drops of silver sun
have fallen into my heart
frightening dreams of yesternight
have cleared in the morning of today
soothed and comforted
awakened and refreshed
the rain streaked tears
have brought me cleansing
as you held on to me all through the night

[Con ate dog]

I occasionally have sarcastic dreams.

The dream will seduce me: I am walking down the street, in an Armani suit, with huge, gem-encrusted rings on every finger, and people are pointing to me and waving.
Or I'm on TV, orating passionately about some issue, the evil swine cowed by my mighty rhetoric, the rest of my audience with worshipful tears in their eyes.
Or I'm being led to prison in chains for my crime of conscience, head held high, defying the screaming mob and brutal guards that surround and oppress me.

The dream always takes this wish fulfillment to a cartoonish extreme, indulging my vanity to an indecent degree. And, in my dream state, I completely buy into it.

I wake up thinking, what a wonderful dream- then I realize that the dream was making fun of me. I walk through my waking day red-faced.

I've tried to explain this to everyone who will listen, but none of them have ever had a sarcastic dream.

[Brynn]

Now I wish I could have a sarcastic dream - it sounds like fun.

[priceyfatprude]

i'm swimming
in Lake Michigan
it seems like i'm getting somewhere
it feels like i'm moving
and yet, i keep getting sucked back
and hitting my head on the rocks every time
drops of red blood
stain the pretty white granite
the water washes it away
so by the time you would have noticed
it's not there anymore
the water comforts me
lulls me
making me forget
how much my head hurts
and the tears
and the weariness
otherwise why would i keep coming back for more?

[lapietra]

i don't mind the wildflowers but can we at least get rid of the roaches

[Master_Jedi]

Accidentally outloud in Wal-Mart, In front of kids.


Isn't that Strawberry Shortcake insanely IRRESISTABLE...

[Tahnee]

Hi. I'm new to Ze's World, but I like what I see. I hope you don't mind if I join in.
I like to talk to my kitten and tell him about my day. I like it when I wake up and he is there.
I cry sometimes when I watch the news or Oprah.
There are days when life just seems really hard, when I become a withdrawn, selfish child who has nothing to smile for...and I cry all day. Then I wake up the next morning and it's all okay.
I'm obsessed with a boy that comes into the cafe where I work. He drinks flatwhites, and is quite short, and he brings his own newspaper. He doesn't like to talk.
And sometimes, I want to throw an apple from my fruit bowl at the builders accross the street when they wake me up.

[trisherina]

an ocean's garbled vomit on the shore