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Old 01-07-2003, 11:35 PM   #1
moel
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Random meaningless questions

...Because I'm bored.

1. So, can you dance better than Ze?

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.

4. Secret shame?

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?

6. Does the end justify the means?

7. Are you happy with your middle name?

8. How many languages can you speak?

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?

12. Do you always obey the crab?

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
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Old 01-08-2003, 01:11 AM   #2
rmr
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
Nope


2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
Hell no and that always pisses me of in the movies

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
I'd probably have to say when I was bartending. Nothing gives a girl her props better than having about 100 drunk guys around her.

4. Secret shame?
I'm addicted to all things related to the real world. Did you see rr/rw challenge I almost can't take it it's so great.

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
Come to think about it it's sad. I don't think monkeys really like to be in a barrel.

6. Does the end justify the means?
It depends on the means you use.


7. Are you happy with your middle name?
Marie - no not at all

8. How many languages can you speak?
1

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
Half full - I sometimes wonder who first thought of that.

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
Yes

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
Pretty damn close

12. Do you always obey the crab?
Yes

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
Walk the dog and then work

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
Yes, I most certainly do.
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Old 01-08-2003, 01:17 AM   #3
masterofNone
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
of course not

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
of course

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
You'll be the first to know

4. Secret shame?
no secrets, no shame

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
I've often wondered about this. Is it a barrel "full" of monkeys or a barrel "made" of monkeys? "of" just isn't specific enough to arrive at a satisfactory judgement. Please clarify and resubmit your form.

6. Does the end justify the means?
that depends of the end and the means. Now I've known some mean ends in my time.

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
of course

8. How many languages can you speak?
I can speak them all. Although I only know one.

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
I don't see a glass.

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
of course

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
At a conservative assumed intake of 6 beers per month since 1979... hell, I've finished well over 6000.

12. Do you always obey the crab?
only coincidently, except those times when I obey the crab accidently... when in the orient I have obeyed occidentally.

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
That's a different question for blokes than it is for lasses. In my case... to bed.

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
Don't panic.
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Old 01-08-2003, 02:40 AM   #4
1kookykat
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?

Better than Frank Zappa, but not as good as Ze.

"I may be totally wrong but I'm a Dancin' Foo-oool...
So smoke your little smoke
And drink your little drink
While I dance the night away!"

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?

I've got a flashlight and a Sig Sauer. Why not?

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.

I won a city art contest as a H.S. freshman. To this day my graphic logo design is on the buses of that city which shall remain unnamed.

4. Secret shame?

I hate that design.

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?

It's a lot more fun than a barrel of donkeys.
It's a friggin' riot when they're priapitic Blue Suede MONKEY's.

6. Does the end justify the means?

Absolutely NOT! Pragmatism and relativism are fallacious and lead to gross injustice. (If you think this is untenable or narrow, consider the exclusivity of your own outlook and ask yourself, "Am I absolutely sure there are absolutely NO absolutes?")

7. Are you happy with your middle name?

I'm not exactly ashamed of Andrew. I just don't like "Andy" and I can't see myself as a "Drew".

8. How many languages can you speak?

Two: Miserable Spanish and Impeccable 1940's Los Angeleno Broadcasters' English.

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?

I'm glad you asked. The proverbial glass contains equal volumes of liquid (presumably) and air (atmosphere), respectively.

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?

It's not a song, it's a juvenile torture technique used by dorks with lots of stamina. Yes I have.

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?

I make a valiant attempt at 99 pints of Guinness quite frequently.

12. Do you always obey the crab?

Of course. Where else would one go to find such ineffable wisdom?

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?

To get a Guiness.

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?

Hey, not only am I one kooky cat, I'm also one hoopy frood.
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Old 01-08-2003, 03:26 AM   #5
noxxville
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
That must be a joke. Nobody, and I mean nobody, dances better than Ze.

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
I'd investigate how fast my car keys can get me into the car and out of there....I'm clearly in the wrong house.

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
Yeah, see that hasn't quite happened yet.

4. Secret shame?
Pro Wrestling. It's ridiculous, stupid, poorly acted, and degrading to all of humankind. I love it......when nobody's around.

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
Definately sad. Maybe closer to downright depressing.

6. Does the end justify the means?
If the end was the desired result of the means.

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
John - with a first name of Jason? Hey JJ. Yeah. I just love it.

8. How many languages can you speak?
1 3/8. 1 part English, 1/4 German, 1/8 Spanish

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
I just want to know who drank half of the water.

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
Never got past 4.

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
My aching head tells me that I have, but it's been known to exaggerate.

12. Do you always obey the crab?
I am compelled to obey the crab.

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
Work

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
naturally.
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Old 01-08-2003, 05:07 AM   #6
Frieda
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
of course not!

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
i grab my hockey stick and go investigate, after calling a friend

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
high school plays

4. Secret shame?
that's supposed to be a secret!

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
both..

6. Does the end justify the means?
nope

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
yeah.. was named after my grandmother!

8. How many languages can you speak?
4

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
full

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall?
we have this song called "a potje met vet" which is also a counting song.. finished this song when we were at 352

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
not in one evening

12. Do you always obey the crab?
i try

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
probably the toilet

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
always!
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Old 01-08-2003, 05:44 AM   #7
RuneT
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[b]1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
Close, butt no

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
Yes

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
while partying, I bomb all the time

4. Secret shame?
I am a lazy bastard

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
sad

6. Does the end justify the means?
yes

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
yeah.. was named after my grandfather!

8. How many languages can you speak?
3

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
full

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall?
I always loose the count

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
I always loose the count

12. Do you always obey the crab?
yes

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
to work.

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
yes, it's where it always is
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Old 01-08-2003, 05:56 AM   #8
Indigo
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
Noone dances better than Ze.

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
I put on my boots; put Reel 10 on repeat, very low; get the aftershock out of the fridge; pull my comfy chair to the most likely place a break in would occur; put in a new clip; put 911 on speed dial in case I picked the wrong entry point; and wait for the dumbass to try to get in.

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
i dont think i was ever said 'bomb'... however, at one time it was the very hip thing to have me custom paint your leather jacket.

4. Secret shame?
Its a secret.

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
Little plastic monkeys? Sad. Being so bored.
Real monkeys? Sad. And most likely illegal.
ZeMonkeys? Hella great fun!

6. Does the end justify the means?
Only if you got there in a really nice way.

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
I guess so.

8. How many languages can you speak?
Fluently? None.

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
Depends on what I'm drinking.

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
Yep. While playing with little plastic monkeys.

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
Not in succession.

12. Do you always obey the crab?
No. I taunt the crab. I anger the crab.

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
For more juice.

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
Why? What did you wipe on it?
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Old 01-08-2003, 09:38 AM   #9
chuckie egg
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
I think not!

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
I might look out the window

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
Aha... I starred in a pop video once! lol

4. Secret shame?
Yes

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
Probably a mixture, the ones at the bottom would be sad

6. Does the end justify the means?
always

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
hmm, anne, it'll do

8. How many languages can you speak?
uno

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
half full YAY

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
no way hosé

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
Not all at once, hehe

12. Do you always obey the crab?
mostly

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
work..... again

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
of course I do
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Old 01-08-2003, 10:17 AM   #10
bealeblues
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?

I can't dance better than an blind amputee, much less ze

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?

sure

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.

last time i checked, i was still 'the bomb'

4. Secret shame?

i'm addicted to iron chef although i can't boil water

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?

ask ze... he has about 400 monkeys in his barrel

6. Does the end justify the means?

if you can still look yourself in the mirror, i suppose, but that answer is always skewed by your perspective and the perspectives of those around you

7. Are you happy with your middle name?

i suppose

8. How many languages can you speak?

1, with 2 dialects--- functional english with dialects of cajun and mountain redneck... and yes, that is as scary as it seems

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?

finish it off and it'll be empty and you can get another round

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?

haven't even tried

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?

in one day, close, but no; in my lifetime, infinitely more than that

12. Do you always obey the crab?

i hardly ever obey anyone, which is part of my problem

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?

to take my dog to have his morning constitutional

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?

ummmm..... yes?

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Old 01-08-2003, 11:23 AM   #11
amanda
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Re: Random meaningless questions

1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
Learning how to dance like ze is like learning a foreign language: it takes years to master, to master it takes practice, and the best place to practice is outside your country of origin.

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
Walk quietly, with a big stick.

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
When I won the lottery. I was a month old.

4. Secret shame?
I used to look like the Lucy Pez dispenser.

5.Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
New world or Old world monkeys? Pickel or rum barrel? Always get the facts...

6.Does the end justify the means?
Depends on what side of the looking glass you are gazing through. As a general rule, probably not.

7.Are you happy with your middle name?
Louise is better thought out than Lynn.

8. How many languages can you speak?
American and British English, French (sort of), and I'm working on the Japanese...and Chinese in my sleep, apparently. (5)

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
Pessimist by policy, optimist by temperament.

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
Not if I could help it.

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
No, but I'm game. I always love a challenge.

12. Do you always obey the crab?
"Kiss the monkey"
*smooch*
yep.

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
Bad MoN. I'm going to bed, but he's right- the question is different for a lass. I'll be going to sleep. Granola is for the morning.

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
42

Last edited by amanda : 01-08-2003 at 11:26 AM.
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Old 01-08-2003, 11:47 AM   #12
Madmack
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?

Nope.. Dancing cuts into my drinking time....

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?

Yup...

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.

Hmm.. If I ever was the bomb.. I guess I still am...

4. Secret shame?

Scottish background.. and I don't like scotch...

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?

Educational

6. Does the end justify the means?

Depending on your perspective.. they become part of the same...

7. Are you happy with your middle name?

Yup.. I use it as my first one..

8. How many languages can you speak?

English.. I can get by in Spanish.. I can get somthing to eat in French, a beer in German, directions to the bathroom in Dutch...

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?

Half full...

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?

Sure...

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?

Century club..? Yup.. Sick for a day after it though..!

12. Do you always obey the crab?

Hmm.. mostly...

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?

To the printer...

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?

Yup.. Right where I left it...
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Old 01-08-2003, 12:22 PM   #13
ella baby
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
in my demented opinion (under the influence of an amazing amount of alcohol and tonns of processed food with E numbers) I could never reach the height of gracefulness nor acrobatic cleverness that is ze's dancing

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
definately not. Unless of course I have the local Rugby team over, then I'd send them out to have a look.

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
Not happened yet, and am not sure I want it to

4. Secret shame?
Wouldn't be a secret if I told now, would it?

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
extremely sad.

6. Does the end justify the means?
completely depends on the end, the means, the justification, the perspective and people involved

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
don't have one, so yes

8. How many languages can you speak?
3 and a quarter

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
half full, but would prefer it to be overflowing

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
not even tried it yet, so no

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
hmmm, think I got to 4, but beer is not really my alcohol of choice

12. Do you always obey the crab?
not sure why I would want to obey a decapod that is related to lobsters and crayfish, though am sure that his commands are always highly obey-able

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
kitchen for a more drink

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
nope no idea. should I know?
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Old 01-08-2003, 03:43 PM   #14
Deviate
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
yes, and i know someone who dances funnier than ze as well. sorry, wonderful Ze, but i am indebted to this person for showing me your website, with the heading "this guy ripped me off". Beale got a taste of the dance via webcam. genius. pure genius.

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
i grab a phone and call someone. i pull out a large knife and go outside.

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
after any of my shows. i get such great feedback and wonderful accolades from the audience, actors, and crew. reminds me that i know what i'm doing.

4. Secret shame?
zeMonkey Chat. i don't know how secret it is, but i frequently sign on just to see who could intrigue me into the night. thanks to all the wonderful people who listened to my drivel all day and all night. wunderbar.

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
depends on the size of the barrel and the size of the monkeys. who knows, they could be having a party in there.

meanwhile, i wonder how many zeMonkeys would fit into a barrel. with a little olive oil i'm sure quite a few. we should try...

6. Does the end justify the means?
yes.

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
yes.

8. How many languages can you speak?
um, i know english and bits and pieces of several others

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
i fill my glass, baby.

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
yes. try to finish 1 trillion bottles of beer on the wall. much more fun.

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
in a day? sadly not
in my life? hell yeah

12. Do you always obey the crab?
don't tell the crab this, but no. i have not yet sat on a plant pot. shhh.

edit: i sat on a plant pot. sorry Crab! i shall obey.

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
probably lunch with KeyLime, off the the YawBus

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
Hey, you sass that hoopy Deviate? Now there’s a cool frood who really knows where his towel is.

edit: thanks Moel, you hoopy frood you. you don't know how much i sass you for this question. i didn't give a pair of fetid dingo's kidneys about anything else in this thread.

Last edited by Deviate : 01-08-2003 at 05:40 PM.
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Old 01-09-2003, 09:34 PM   #15
LadyCrow
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1. So, can you dance better than Ze?
-no one can dance better than ze... (not even Gene Gene The Dancing Machine)

2. You are alone late at night in a large house, you hear a suspicious noise coming from the shed outside. Do you investigate?
-hell no! I'm not as dumb as the fools in horror movies

3. 15 minutes of fame. Describe a time when you were “the bomb”.
-when I finally & "officially" opened my business.. still pretty freaking cool, ya know

4. Secret shame?
-admitting that I own a Vanilla Ice tape

5. Is a barrel of monkeys fun…or sad?
-the game itself is fun, but a real barrel o'monkeys? very sad

6. Does the end justify the means?
(I almost missed this one...)
-depends on who's end we're talking about here {weg}

7. Are you happy with your middle name?
-sometimes, but I wish it were different; I share it w/my mother, sister & niece (BORING)
** hey rmr: we share the same middle name **

8. How many languages can you speak?
-not sure I got English down all that well, but I get by; I took Spanish all throughout school, but couldn't have a decent conversation w/a fluent Spanish speaker

9. Is the glass half empty or half full?
-depends on what's in it

10. Have you ever finished the song “99 bottles of beer on the wall”?
-no; however, many moons ago 3 friends & I went on a road trip to Canada, & got pulled over by the cops for no reason (really!!!); we invented a new song after the butthole left: "99 Cops lined up on a wall.. 99 cops on the wall.. you take one down & crush his head.. (Kids In The Hall influence) etc..."

11. Have you ever finished 99 bottles of beer?
-hell no (x2)... beer is nasty kaka (except for this funky raspberry beer I had once... I'd love to try it again)

12. Do you always obey the crab?
-when I'm half-asleep

13. Where are you going the next time you get up?
-probably to do the dishes that have been sitting in my sink since last night; well, depending on what time it is when I'm done here, I might watch something on the ol'booby tooby

14. Last and most important: Do you know where your towel is?
-crumpled up on the counter, unfortunately
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