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Old 05-16-2003, 02:15 PM   #1
lapietra
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ever wonder why....

This was sent to me via email this morning... I've seen some of them before but it's still funny...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but
darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do
"practice"?

Why is it that to stop Windows, you
have to click on "Start"?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial
flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest
traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

When dog food is new and improved
tasting, who tests it?


Why didn't Noah swat those two
mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for
lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box
that is used on airplanes? Why don't
they make the whole plane out of that
stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when
they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

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Last edited by lapietra : 05-16-2003 at 02:59 PM.
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Old 05-16-2003, 02:51 PM   #2
Red Princess
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why does the irs make you pay interest if you pay late but they don't pay interest on the money they stole out of your paycheck all year?
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Old 05-16-2003, 03:31 PM   #3
Madmack
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Hmm..
MoN.. Care to add a couple..?
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Old 05-16-2003, 03:32 PM   #4
Red Princess
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ever wonder about gas stations that sell beer? if you aren't supposed to drink and drive why do they make it so easy?
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Old 05-16-2003, 03:57 PM   #5
Zyle
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why does the word lisp have an s in it?
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Old 05-16-2003, 04:22 PM   #6
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hehe lala! sounds like George Carlin and his wonderful near-hit / near miss airplane story.. i love that one!
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Old 05-16-2003, 04:25 PM   #7
Red Princess
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and the oxymoron stuff

jumbo shrimp
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Old 05-16-2003, 04:48 PM   #8
red
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Quote:
Originally posted by Red Princess
ever wonder about gas stations that sell beer? if you aren't supposed to drink and drive why do they make it so easy?
We have drive-thru liquor stores here.
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:20 PM   #9
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here's a bunch more (didn't check for duplicates)

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

What if there were no hypothetical questions?

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him ... is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:44 PM   #10
meredila
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Question I wonder the same thing...

Quote:
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
I have this problem (it has been documented).

Hi. *waves* My first post. I wasn't sure where to start, so this seems as good as any.
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:47 PM   #11
ambo
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Hi meredila - welcome
Just jump in any old place
It's fun all over
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:48 PM   #12
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Helllllloooooo Merry Dillo

welcome, have fun, enjoy....sorry I have no POS wagon...
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:52 PM   #13
lapietra
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Quote:
Originally posted by dinzdale
Helllllloooooo Merry Dillo

welcome, have fun, enjoy....sorry I have no POS wagon...
Welcome!!! The more the merridillier

I think my car may soon qualify as the new POS wagon... if only I would surrender to the barrage of car dealership offers I keep receiving... But it's not squeaky. It ROARS.
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Old 05-16-2003, 05:56 PM   #14
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My old car was a pretty solid POS. It was an '83 Volvo wagon... Yes, twas a pleasant POS.

I prefer to think of meredila as Godzilla-- it gives me an edge, don't you think?

~Meredith (meredila is a school derived variation of my three names)
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Old 05-16-2003, 06:11 PM   #15
dickieC
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Wow! Newbie posts a photo first time out. And it conforms to the Golden Rule of ZeMonkeys. Cool

Welcome, Meredila!
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