it's a donkey - ZEFRANK.COM

madasacutsnake · 11-23-2004, 10:27 AM

From Daver:

A priest wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as
well go ahead and enter it in the races.

To his surprise, the donkey came in third.
The next day the local paper carried this headline:
PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS.

The priest was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won.
The local paper read:
PRIEST'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the priest not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS.

The bishop had a fit and ordered the priest to get rid of the donkey. The priest decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following
headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

Now add your own. I'll start.

This was too much for the nun so she went back out to the plains and tried to recapture the donkey. But the odnkey was too quick for her and the farmer had to help.
The next day the headlines read:
FARMER GRABS NUN'S ASS

Hyakujo's Fox · 11-23-2004, 12:21 PM

The farmer asked one of assistants to return the ass to the nun, but he never showed up at the convent.

The headline read:
FARMER'S HAND PINCHES NUN'S ASS

funkytuba · 11-23-2004, 01:26 PM

Later on it turns out that the farmhand didn't steal the donkey but rather turned it loose and it was found later by the side of the road.

Headline:
NUN'S ASS FOUND IN GUTTER

daverbee · 11-23-2004, 08:44 PM

They took it to the local Humane Society when the nun refused to accept the donkey back.
Headline read:
NUN'S ASS UP FOR ADOPTION.

Smartypants · 11-23-2004, 09:01 PM

The priest thought he could use a donkey, so he went to the Humane Society and adopted it. A couple had brought their kids in to look at the dogs and cats, and they watched the priest sign the adoption and release papers.

Headline:

KIDS WITNESS PRIEST CHECKING OUT NUN'S ASS.

Zaftig · 11-23-2004, 09:57 PM

After seeing how excited the children were after seeing the donkey he decided a more appropriate way to raise money for the church would be to open up a petting zoo.
Headline:

PARENTS PAY FOR CHILDREN TO PET PRIEST'S ASS

Hyakujo's Fox · 11-23-2004, 10:44 PM

But for old time's sake he decided to enter the donkey for one last race. After it ran so well the first time many commentators thought it should win this time.

Sports Page Headline:
PRIEST'S ASS WILL TAKE SOME BEATING

madasacutsnake · 11-23-2004, 11:22 PM

The donkey wins the race in a photo finish.

The headline read:
PRIEST'S ASS BARELY TAKES IT

madasacutsnake · 11-23-2004, 11:34 PM

After the race, the donkey collapsed. The vet was called and proceeded to pull out his gun.

The headline read:
VET ALMOST SHOOTS UP PRIEST'S ASS

funkytuba · 11-24-2004, 12:02 AM

Thankfully the vet was stopped by the animal control officer who, along with the mayor, said they didn't mind if the donkey was allowed to roam.

Headlines read:
LOCAL OFFICIALS HEARTILY APPROVE OF PRIEST'S ASS

madasacutsnake · 11-24-2004, 12:16 AM

However, it seemed that the donkey's leg was broken. The vet ordered that the donkey be suspended in a flotation tank to allow the leg to heal. Coincidentally, a week later, the priest also broke his leg. The doctor was so impressed with the way the tank had helped the donkey that he ordered the same treatment.

The headline read:
PRIEST HUNG LIKE DONKEY

sorry

funkytuba · 11-24-2004, 12:23 AM

So the priest and the donkey went home but wanderlust still lurked in the donkey's soul so he hit the road. He wandered up a mountain to the place where the giants live. Now these giants were a gentle sort and their leader knew the donkey needed to be returned so he picked up the donkey, carried it down the mountain with his three-member giant posse and gave it to the priest, who, while not a giant, was rather beefy himself.

Headlines read:
PADRE GETS HIS OWN ASS HANDED TO HIM BY GIANTS - 4-1

Hyakujo's Fox · 11-24-2004, 12:28 AM

The donkey's wanderlust continued. Despite being locked up the donkey made an escape with the priest in hot pursuit. However it took quite a while to capture.

Headline:
DESPERATE PRIEST CHASES ASS ALL OVER TOWN.

Hyakujo's Fox · 11-24-2004, 12:44 AM

After the donkey's recent win at the races, the owner's of a nearby stud farm announced they thought the donkey could be used to sire a new line of thoroughbred racing donkeys.

Headline:
LOCAL STUD WANTS PRIEST'S ASS

madasacutsnake · 11-24-2004, 12:53 AM

The priest however had other ideas. He had seen a great looking donkey with thoroughbred lines owned by a local lad.

Headline:
PRIEST WANTS SCHOOLBOY'S ASS

11-23-2004, 10:27 AM	#1
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	it's a donkey From Daver: A priest wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third. The next day the local paper carried this headline: PRIEST'S ASS SHOWS. The priest was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The local paper read: PRIEST'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the priest not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PRIEST'S ASS. The bishop had a fit and ordered the priest to get rid of the donkey. The priest decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN. The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00. This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE. Now add your own. I'll start. This was too much for the nun so she went back out to the plains and tried to recapture the donkey. But the odnkey was too quick for her and the farmer had to help. The next day the headlines read: FARMER GRABS NUN'S ASS __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

11-23-2004, 01:26 PM	#3
funkytuba Spone to Proonerisms Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 4,531	Later on it turns out that the farmhand didn't steal the donkey but rather turned it loose and it was found later by the side of the road. Headline: NUN'S ASS FOUND IN GUTTER __________________ ...and another handful of almonds

11-23-2004, 09:01 PM	#5
Smartypants MR. Smartypants to you. Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Oh, YOU PEOPLE go ahead and call it "Frisco." See if I care. Posts: 3,967	The priest thought he could use a donkey, so he went to the Humane Society and adopted it. A couple had brought their kids in to look at the dogs and cats, and they watched the priest sign the adoption and release papers. Headline: KIDS WITNESS PRIEST CHECKING OUT NUN'S ASS. __________________ "I don't think God wants us to believe in him. If he wanted us to believe in him he'd do something about it -- like exist perhaps!" --Linda Smith

11-23-2004, 09:57 PM	#6
Zaftig monkey Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: The Twilight Zone Posts: 1,951	After seeing how excited the children were after seeing the donkey he decided a more appropriate way to raise money for the church would be to open up a petting zoo. Headline: PARENTS PAY FOR CHILDREN TO PET PRIEST'S ASS __________________ Build a bridge and get over it.

11-23-2004, 11:22 PM	#8
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	The donkey wins the race in a photo finish. The headline read: PRIEST'S ASS BARELY TAKES IT __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

11-23-2004, 12:21 PM	#2
Hyakujo's Fox left hanging Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream Posts: 10,071	The farmer asked one of assistants to return the ass to the nun, but he never showed up at the convent. The headline read: FARMER'S HAND PINCHES NUN'S ASS

11-23-2004, 08:44 PM	#4
daverbee Key Lime Pie rocks!!! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Oh, yeah! Posts: 7,695	They took it to the local Humane Society when the nun refused to accept the donkey back. Headline read: NUN'S ASS UP FOR ADOPTION.

11-23-2004, 10:44 PM	#7
Hyakujo's Fox left hanging Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream Posts: 10,071	But for old time's sake he decided to enter the donkey for one last race. After it ran so well the first time many commentators thought it should win this time. Sports Page Headline: PRIEST'S ASS WILL TAKE SOME BEATING

11-23-2004, 11:34 PM	#9
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	After the race, the donkey collapsed. The vet was called and proceeded to pull out his gun. The headline read: VET ALMOST SHOOTS UP PRIEST'S ASS __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

11-24-2004, 12:02 AM	#10
funkytuba Spone to Proonerisms Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 4,531	Thankfully the vet was stopped by the animal control officer who, along with the mayor, said they didn't mind if the donkey was allowed to roam. Headlines read: LOCAL OFFICIALS HEARTILY APPROVE OF PRIEST'S ASS __________________ ...and another handful of almonds

11-24-2004, 12:16 AM	#11
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	However, it seemed that the donkey's leg was broken. The vet ordered that the donkey be suspended in a flotation tank to allow the leg to heal. Coincidentally, a week later, the priest also broke his leg. The doctor was so impressed with the way the tank had helped the donkey that he ordered the same treatment. The headline read: PRIEST HUNG LIKE DONKEY sorry __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

11-24-2004, 12:23 AM	#12
funkytuba Spone to Proonerisms Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 4,531	So the priest and the donkey went home but wanderlust still lurked in the donkey's soul so he hit the road. He wandered up a mountain to the place where the giants live. Now these giants were a gentle sort and their leader knew the donkey needed to be returned so he picked up the donkey, carried it down the mountain with his three-member giant posse and gave it to the priest, who, while not a giant, was rather beefy himself. Headlines read: PADRE GETS HIS OWN ASS HANDED TO HIM BY GIANTS - 4-1 __________________ ...and another handful of almonds

11-24-2004, 12:28 AM	#13
Hyakujo's Fox left hanging Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream Posts: 10,071	The donkey's wanderlust continued. Despite being locked up the donkey made an escape with the priest in hot pursuit. However it took quite a while to capture. Headline: DESPERATE PRIEST CHASES ASS ALL OVER TOWN.

11-24-2004, 12:44 AM	#14
Hyakujo's Fox left hanging Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: between the click of the light and the start of the dream Posts: 10,071	After the donkey's recent win at the races, the owner's of a nearby stud farm announced they thought the donkey could be used to sire a new line of thoroughbred racing donkeys. Headline: LOCAL STUD WANTS PRIEST'S ASS

11-24-2004, 12:53 AM	#15
madasacutsnake no more nice girl Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 5,054	The priest however had other ideas. He had seen a great looking donkey with thoroughbred lines owned by a local lad. Headline: PRIEST WANTS SCHOOLBOY'S ASS __________________ He really shatters the myth of white supremacy once and for all.

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