05-14-2007, 02:43 AM
|
#2716 |
|
The old chook
Join Date: May 2007
Location: The most isolated city in the world
Posts: 19
|
Case of the pregnant lady
ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 --- CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will Reduce the Swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have Prevented this Accident"..... I just lost it." "CASE DISMISSED!!" 
__________________
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.
 |
|
|
|
05-14-2007, 08:35 AM
|
#2717 |
|
Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
|
Lesser Moments in Spanish Extra Credit, from McSweeney's Internet Tendency. SO much good stuff on there, so funny, good place to go for a laugh. A warning, however.. the Dispatches from Iraq section, though very very good writing, is not funny. Not even a little.
|
|
|
|
|
05-14-2007, 10:07 AM
|
#2718 |
|
click click click
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: snap the fingers
Posts: 2,229
|
^ Thanks, brightpearl, that was wonderful
 I remember laughing out loud in the middle of a silent study hall at these: Actual Responses By My Fourteen-Year-Old Japanese Students to the Prompts "In the Future, I Want To Be..." And "Because..." Scenes From Lord of the Rings That Might Have Been Used as Setups for Bad Commercials Had the Filmmakers Not Respected the Material
__________________
of the deadly ginger snaps |
|
|
|
|
05-14-2007, 11:29 AM
|
#2719 |
|
Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
|
^I'm ashamed to have contributed to your study hall delinquency; however, the fact that you can appreciate McSweeney's at such a tender age bodes well for your future.
|
|
|
|
|
05-14-2007, 05:48 PM
|
#2720 |
|
Moderator
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: A much better place
Posts: 5,931
|
Fun with food!
   
__________________
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx |
|
|
|
|
05-14-2007, 11:40 PM
|
#2722 |
|
98.4% monkey
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: bummed out city
Posts: 634
|
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2007, 12:16 AM
|
#2723 |
|
Hebetudinous Somnolence
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: SF BAY REPRESENT!
Posts: 77
|
As horribly vindictive as this will sound.. the HR woman that ruined my life and took away a significant promotion for no reason was demoted today for doing just that. It took three months but DARNIT I feel good. Next week I find out if they will be able to re-award the promotion. Here's hoping I get to post here again when it happens!
Oh, and my four kitties chasing each other through the house like a kitty train just now was pretty darn cute!
__________________
"No, thanks," replied the vultures. "They're carrion." |
|
|
|
|
05-15-2007, 03:43 AM
|
#2724 |
|
hope dope
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: down to earth
Posts: 1,908
|
^ Housework can be fun if there are kittens chasing your broom.
|
|
|
|
|
05-15-2007, 07:41 AM
|
#2725 |
|
Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
|
*wipes away tears of mirth long enough to post*
The latest installment of Letters from an Earth Ball to, or concerning, Sean Hannity. This one will forever be known to me as the Sean-Hannity-is-a-Jockstrap-and-his-Voice-Smells-Synesthetically-of-Rancid-Bacon essay. |
|
|
|
|
05-15-2007, 02:58 PM
|
#2726 |
|
click click click
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: snap the fingers
Posts: 2,229
|
Not as high-brow as McSweeneys, but still damn funny
Defective Yeti's Puzzle Korner Iraqi Invasion: A Test Misadventure
__________________
of the deadly ginger snaps |
|
|
|
|
05-16-2007, 08:18 PM
|
#2727 |
|
What I Am Wearing.
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Near DC
Posts: 2,574
|
 |
|
|
|
|
05-17-2007, 03:50 PM
|
#2728 |
|
What I Am Wearing.
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Near DC
Posts: 2,574
|
One more... saw this on the road today:
 |
|
|
|
|
05-17-2007, 08:21 PM
|
#2729 |
|
Gone Daydreaming
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Vancouver, B.C.
Posts: 428
|
I love him.
|
|
|
|
|
05-17-2007, 10:44 PM
|
#2730 |
|
constantly amazed
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
|
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction. Last edited by Brynn : 05-17-2007 at 11:56 PM. Reason: I got married to the sea |
|
|
|
 |
| Thread Tools | |
| Display Modes | Rate This Thread |
|
|
Linear Mode
