If I Were A Rockstar...(complete the sentence...multiple times if you'd like) - ZEFRANK.COM

beckstra · 03-25-2003, 02:47 AM

If I were a rockstar, all my magazine spreads would be upside down.

If I were a rockstar, I'd get the guys who created "The Legend of Zelda" to add me in the game.

If I were a rockstar, I would find a way to be remembered as Red the Impailer.

If I were a rockstar, I'd tape my boobs down. Female rockstars shouldn't have boobs.

If I were a rockstar, and you were a naked rockstar, I'd stalk you.

If I were a rockstar, I'd pull around a wooden banana with wheels on a string behind me before and after my concerts through the audience.

If I were a rockstar, I'd have a four-poster bed with hollow posts so I could hide all my hit's I'm too lazy to officially have copywrighted in them.

If I were a rockstar, I'd throw red hots into the audience, and yell, "you on fire yet?"

If I were a rockstar, all my flyers would have chewed up pieces of gum folded in the top left corner.

beckstra · 03-25-2003, 02:50 AM

If I were a rockstar, I'd flip off all the men in the crowd older than my dad...the perverts.

If I were a rockstar, I would have flashy rockstar pants...then, no matter how bad I sucked, I'd have flashy rockstar pants to play around in.

If I were a rockstar, I'd record some of my best work in an old, smelly outhouse, just for effect.

If I were a rockstar, I'd get my elbows waxed regularly.

If I were a rockstar, on my first tour, I'd put up a big screen and just show slides of Anthony Kedis.

If I were a rockstar, I'd wear my tour shirts to my own concert...so I could make "that guy" feel a little better.

If I were a rockstar, I'd tie my microphone to someone hot in the audience and use him as my mic stand.

lapietra · 03-25-2003, 04:37 AM

You've obviously put a great deal of thought into this...
I'm going to have to get back to you on it...
My sentence always starts out, "If I were a supermodel..."

Which, you have to admit, is almost the same thing.

chuckie egg · 03-25-2003, 10:34 AM

I were a rockstar, I'd employ you all as my roadies!

amanda · 03-25-2003, 11:52 AM

If I were a rockstar, I would change the definition of "cool" to be my name.

If I were a rockstar, I would make change the laws in Kentucky so it would be legal to have an ice cream cone in your pocket.

If I were a rockstar, I would pay political cartoonists to do paradies of me.

If I were a rockstar, the top of the Eiffel Tower would be my third summer home.

If I were a rockstar, I would have all my fans sing "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", off-key.

If I were a rockstar, I would have amusement park games give away red noses instead of crappy stuffed animals. And no goldfish. Ever.

If I were a rockstar, I would hire other rockstars to clean my hotel room after I stayed there for a week-long orgy of blueberry pie tossing and red wine drinking.

masterofNone · 03-25-2003, 11:58 AM

I would demand they bring back the tan M&Ms and keep a bowlful in my dressing room at all times.

pft. green! Tan was the cool color.

Deviate · 03-25-2003, 03:33 PM

omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
omg
OMG....

you're the only one who sees the light.

blue was an awful replacement to light brown, the colour of deliciousness.....

i was going to say the same thing....

-st.

masterofNone · 03-25-2003, 04:05 PM

Deviate · 03-25-2003, 08:07 PM

...the word "PANTS" would be chanted to encourage my encore."

-st.

AllegroNg · 03-25-2003, 08:56 PM

I would name my band "Stays Crunchy in Milk" and my album "Adicted to Cough Drops"

amanda · 03-25-2003, 10:09 PM

you've tapped into a deeply held value there, mon.

tan m&m's ARE still available, so I hear- in the M&M store in Las Vegas, and old packages in inner Mongolia.

But they are an extinct species- fight for their protection.

rmr · 03-25-2003, 11:22 PM

If i were a rockstar I'd try to make as much money as I could and then disappear into the wild blue yonder.

trisherina · 03-26-2003, 12:57 AM

If I were a rock star I'd have a Piper Swift Fury for fun and a Citation to get me to my gigs.

If I were a rock star, I would never, ever, ever let people film my drug-addled decline for small change.

girlnamedjames · 03-26-2003, 01:04 AM

If I was a rockstar I would play the Keytar.(keyboard guitar)
If I was a rockstar I'd be married to Jon Stewart, despite his age.
If i was a rockstar I would dye my hair and not give a ****.
If i was a rockstar I'd. be abl to wake up whenever I want.

priceyfatprude · 03-26-2003, 01:04 AM

If I were a rockstar, I'd hock my used Kleenex on e-bay.

If I were a rockstar, I'd buy my mother a mansion & some staff.

If I were a rockstar, I'd carry my dog around with me all day, just like in Legally Blonde.

If I were a rockstar, I'd support our troops by going over there & giving them a free concert in the muthaf*ckin' sand.

If I were a rockstar, my dog would eat filet mignon.

If I were a rockstar, I'd donate oodles & oodles of charities.

If I were a rockstar, I'm make goddam sure no one had any access to f*cking hilarious pics of me from earlier in my career that they could share w/their friends & laugh @ long after we've broken up. *cough*

03-25-2003, 02:47 AM	#1
beckstra one classy broad Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Cornhusker State Posts: 1,229	If I Were A Rockstar...(complete the sentence...multiple times if you'd like) If I were a rockstar, all my magazine spreads would be upside down. If I were a rockstar, I'd get the guys who created "The Legend of Zelda" to add me in the game. If I were a rockstar, I would find a way to be remembered as Red the Impailer. If I were a rockstar, I'd tape my boobs down. Female rockstars shouldn't have boobs. If I were a rockstar, and you were a naked rockstar, I'd stalk you. If I were a rockstar, I'd pull around a wooden banana with wheels on a string behind me before and after my concerts through the audience. If I were a rockstar, I'd have a four-poster bed with hollow posts so I could hide all my hit's I'm too lazy to officially have copywrighted in them. If I were a rockstar, I'd throw red hots into the audience, and yell, "you on fire yet?" If I were a rockstar, all my flyers would have chewed up pieces of gum folded in the top left corner.

03-25-2003, 04:37 AM	#3
lapietra half baked Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: just ducky Posts: 12,078	You've obviously put a great deal of thought into this... I'm going to have to get back to you on it... My sentence always starts out, "If I were a supermodel..." Which, you have to admit, is almost the same thing. __________________ “As long as the world is turning and spinning, we're gonna be dizzy and we're gonna make mistakes.” ~ Mel Brooks

03-25-2003, 04:05 PM	#8
masterofNone ________ Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,131	heh!

03-26-2003, 12:57 AM	#13
trisherina meretricious dilettante Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 11,068	If I were a rock star I'd have a Piper Swift Fury for fun and a Citation to get me to my gigs. If I were a rock star, I would never, ever, ever let people film my drug-addled decline for small change. __________________ Because how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives. -- Annie Dillard

03-26-2003, 01:04 AM	#14
girlnamedjames monkey Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: connecticut. Posts: 15	If I was a rockstar I would play the Keytar.(keyboard guitar) If I was a rockstar I'd be married to Jon Stewart, despite his age. If i was a rockstar I would dye my hair and not give a ****. If i was a rockstar I'd. be abl to wake up whenever I want. __________________ look into the sky and know you belong

03-25-2003, 02:50 AM	#2
beckstra one classy broad Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: The Cornhusker State Posts: 1,229	If I were a rockstar, I'd flip off all the men in the crowd older than my dad...the perverts. If I were a rockstar, I would have flashy rockstar pants...then, no matter how bad I sucked, I'd have flashy rockstar pants to play around in. If I were a rockstar, I'd record some of my best work in an old, smelly outhouse, just for effect. If I were a rockstar, I'd get my elbows waxed regularly. If I were a rockstar, on my first tour, I'd put up a big screen and just show slides of Anthony Kedis. If I were a rockstar, I'd wear my tour shirts to my own concert...so I could make "that guy" feel a little better. If I were a rockstar, I'd tie my microphone to someone hot in the audience and use him as my mic stand.

03-25-2003, 10:34 AM	#4
chuckie egg a peach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 4,627	I were a rockstar, I'd employ you all as my roadies!

03-25-2003, 11:52 AM	#5
amanda old s'cool Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,426	If I were a rockstar, I would change the definition of "cool" to be my name. If I were a rockstar, I would make change the laws in Kentucky so it would be legal to have an ice cream cone in your pocket. If I were a rockstar, I would pay political cartoonists to do paradies of me. If I were a rockstar, the top of the Eiffel Tower would be my third summer home. If I were a rockstar, I would have all my fans sing "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", off-key. If I were a rockstar, I would have amusement park games give away red noses instead of crappy stuffed animals. And no goldfish. Ever. If I were a rockstar, I would hire other rockstars to clean my hotel room after I stayed there for a week-long orgy of blueberry pie tossing and red wine drinking.

03-25-2003, 11:58 AM	#6
masterofNone ________ Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,131	I would demand they bring back the tan M&Ms and keep a bowlful in my dressing room at all times. pft. green! Tan was the cool color.

03-25-2003, 03:33 PM	#7
Deviate Butt-F***ing the World Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: the other side of normal Posts: 5,863	omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg OMG.... you're the only one who sees the light. blue was an awful replacement to light brown, the colour of deliciousness..... i was going to say the same thing.... -st.

03-25-2003, 08:07 PM	#9
Deviate Butt-F***ing the World Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: the other side of normal Posts: 5,863	...the word "PANTS" would be chanted to encourage my encore." -st.

03-25-2003, 08:56 PM	#10
AllegroNg What I Am Wearing. Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Near DC Posts: 2,574	I would name my band "Stays Crunchy in Milk" and my album "Adicted to Cough Drops"

03-25-2003, 10:09 PM	#11
amanda old s'cool Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 2,426	you've tapped into a deeply held value there, mon. tan m&m's ARE still available, so I hear- in the M&M store in Las Vegas, and old packages in inner Mongolia. But they are an extinct species- fight for their protection.

03-25-2003, 11:22 PM	#12
rmr Moderator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 10,595	If i were a rockstar I'd try to make as much money as I could and then disappear into the wild blue yonder.

03-26-2003, 01:04 AM	#15
priceyfatprude girthy pickles Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: under your desk Posts: 9,313	If I were a rockstar, I'd hock my used Kleenex on e-bay. If I were a rockstar, I'd buy my mother a mansion & some staff. If I were a rockstar, I'd carry my dog around with me all day, just like in Legally Blonde. If I were a rockstar, I'd support our troops by going over there & giving them a free concert in the muthafckin' sand. If I were a rockstar, my dog would eat filet mignon. If I were a rockstar, I'd donate oodles & oodles of charities. If I were a rockstar, I'm make goddam sure no one had any access to fcking hilarious pics of me from earlier in my career that they could share w/their friends & laugh @ long after we've broken up. cough __________________ "We like your board's features...but don't care about it's people"

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