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Old 03-29-2006, 02:02 PM   #211
EmotionalVelcro
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When the mountain didn't come to Muhammed, Chuck Norris delivered a mighty roundhouse kick which crumbled the mountain at Muhammed's feet.
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Old 03-29-2006, 03:03 PM   #212
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Chuck Norris knows how to unphase the subatomic particles of his foot so that it can pass freely through objects like your head. He just chooses not to so he can kick your ass.
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Old 03-29-2006, 03:24 PM   #213
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Chuck Norris was known as " Bad-assed Baby Boy Norris" until he was 14 months old..his parents were afaid to name him. At 14 months old, he announced " Call me Chuck". And they did and we do.
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I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
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Old 03-29-2006, 03:28 PM   #214
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Chuck had an older brother, Tim. Tim made the mistake of calling Chuck "Chuckles" during a childhood argument. Chuck had Tim's 8 year old head mounted as a warning to all others....
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Old 03-29-2006, 06:55 PM   #215
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Chuck Norris chopped down a cherry tree, an apple tree, a plum tree, a japanese maple, 2 larches, 4 firs, 5 pines, 6 birches, a partrige in a a pear tree, and a 200 yo oak, with his bare hands while visiting the birthplace of that wussy George Washington.
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Old 03-30-2006, 03:11 PM   #216
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chuck norris kicked batman right into the dynamic duo!
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Old 03-30-2006, 03:25 PM   #217
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Chuck Norris has looked David Hasselhoff in the eye and was able to get a sense of his soul... and kicked his ass.
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Old 03-30-2006, 03:32 PM   #218
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^^^ OUCH that was mean. are you related to chuck??
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Old 03-30-2006, 03:40 PM   #219
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Chuck Norris' genes are more ubiquitous than Gengis Khan's.
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Old 03-31-2006, 03:22 PM   #220
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You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while Chuck's wearing these bad boys? Forget about it.
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Old 03-31-2006, 03:52 PM   #221
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Just as Bangladeshi housewives collect cow dung for heating fuel, NASA collects Chuck Norris' shit to make solid rocket boosters for the shuttle.
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Old 03-31-2006, 08:19 PM   #222
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Chuck Norris doesn't care what you call it...butt; derriere; gluteus maximus; burro; donkey: he's still going to kick it.
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Old 04-08-2006, 05:24 PM   #223
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Chuck Norris is gonna kick all your asses for letting this thread die while I was gone.
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Old 04-08-2006, 05:25 PM   #224
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Chuck Norris cannot own a boat, he can't resist kicking the transoms out.
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Old 04-08-2006, 07:36 PM   #225
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Armageddon allready took place. Chuck Norris won.
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