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Old 07-16-2003, 02:19 PM   #1
zefrank
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a haiku story attempt 2

the first one is great, don't get me wrong...i just think we can do better from what we've learned...

someone kick us off:
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Old 07-16-2003, 04:04 PM   #2
ambo
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this year, i'll set goals
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Old 07-16-2003, 06:27 PM   #3
surflugen
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
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Old 07-16-2003, 06:33 PM   #4
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Re: a haiku story attempt 2

Quote:
Originally posted by zefrank
the first one is great, don't get me wrong...i just think we can do better from what we've learned...

someone kick us off:
What did we learn, or what would you like us to beleive we have learned. I always feel I am trying to lead the story somewhere but know its a crap shoot. Should there be any guidelines or back story to folow?
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Old 07-16-2003, 08:39 PM   #5
CatchrNdRy
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt
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Old 07-16-2003, 09:03 PM   #6
amanda
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
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Old 07-16-2003, 09:53 PM   #7
zefrank
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Re: Re: a haiku story attempt 2

Quote:
Originally posted by surflugen
What did we learn, or what would you like us to beleive we have learned. I always feel I am trying to lead the story somewhere but know its a crap shoot. Should there be any guidelines or back story to folow?
umm...maybe nothing...i'll keep working on both
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Old 07-17-2003, 01:54 PM   #8
surflugen
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
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Old 07-17-2003, 03:16 PM   #9
zefrank
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: brooklyn NY
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."
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Old 07-17-2003, 03:19 PM   #10
ambo
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
__________________
Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages.
--Thomas A. Edison
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Old 07-17-2003, 09:31 PM   #11
amanda
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
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Old 07-19-2003, 09:00 PM   #12
ambo
feline, naturally
 
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: California
Posts: 4,407
this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
mumbling to myself
__________________
Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we have not stopped to include violence as an option in our conflict management, we are still savages.
--Thomas A. Edison
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Old 07-21-2003, 09:51 PM   #13
amanda
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Join Date: Oct 2002
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
mumbling to myself

"it will work this time."
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Old 07-22-2003, 12:29 AM   #14
zefrank
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: brooklyn NY
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
mumbling to myself

"it will work this time."
"slow and steady wins the race"
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Old 07-22-2003, 12:48 AM   #15
trisherina
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this year, i'll set goals
I said to him as he gawked
smiled with contempt

"goals are for soccer"
he said with a sheepish grin
"and you've never played."

i pushed him aside
and went back to my drawings
mumbling to myself

"it will work this time."
"slow and steady wins the race"
I drew a tortoise
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