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Old 08-31-2005, 04:22 AM   #1
dddrum
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Wink Creaitivv Mizsplelllnig (...er some'm)

Hulloe evvybrody,

I have a strong affection for misspelled words. Although they reveal the ignorance of the writer when present in large numbers (or at the very least, sloppiness of typing skills ), they have a rustic charm, kind of like a cute forest animal, and I enjoy doing them intentionally from time to time. So why am I telling you this? So you will understand why I am posting a copy of this week's shopping list.

T. hea,

DDD

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shoppy Litst

Dish Sope

Bath Sope

Toothpates

Pater Towlz

Toinent Pater

Pater Plakes (ta eet orf ov)

Zippa Lokc Baigz (kort sieze)

Kat Foob (hart en soffed)

Balannas

Apulls

Bayby Carrits

Sellerree

Maiterrses

Sallid

Sallid Derssnig

Blony end/ore Hamm

Cheas

Sawsudges (4 ore moer)

Grond Buef (summ, butt haw mutch?)

Chikkun Korders (maiby)

Mulkk

Aiggz (1 duzn)

Aigg Noonels

Sketty (3)

Sketty Saws (3)

Marconi en Cheze(7)

Toona (4)

Chikn Meets (4)

Ryss (bigg baigg)

Grean Beenze (8)

Peeze (4)

Koern (4)

Frowzin Brockly (bieg)

Frowzin Kroudre Pees (aslo beigg)

Sturr Frie Vejies

Breffest Seareels (3)

Mullk

Ornje Jews

Marjurrenn

Bredd (5)

Lemminaid (3 oar fore)

Peenit Buther

Jilley

Raymond Noonles

Craikkrez

Pok Korin (if enuff)

Pok Tarrks (iff moer enufh)

Cavereyar (yuo godda bee kidn)

ANN DONET FROGITT, WENN THAY AKS "PAYPRE ORE PLACKSKIT?"

THEE ANSSEWR IS "YSE!"


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So... does this inspire anythnig? ENNNYthnig????
Wull, thenn... POETST AWAIGH!!!!!

-D.
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Old 08-31-2005, 04:26 AM   #2
funkytuba
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great. another "lets everyone tlak lkie zroe thrdae"

all this thread needs is a buncha buncha hotlinked images
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Last edited by funkytuba : 08-31-2005 at 04:27 AM. Reason: didn't edit... just checked for full newbie-scathing tone
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Old 08-31-2005, 05:02 AM   #3
dddrum
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Wow! Look... flames! (Hee)

Quote:
Originally Posted by funkytuba
great. another "lets everyone tlak lkie zroe thrdae"

all this thread needs is a buncha buncha hotlinked images
Oo. You gotse pitchkers???

Relax. Oh... and I'm not a newbie. I've been writing for years and years. It's just that you're apparently a novice at reading me. It's O.K. I promise to grow on you.

Anyway, this thread is just a lark, based upon the Forrest Gumpian entertainment factor I find in (naive) misspelling. If nobody else gets anything out of it either, well there you are, it will die. At worst, it will just kind of drift there at the corner of your peripheral vision, annoying the holy snot outta you. Buttcha down't gotsa reed it, ya noe.

I love and respect you just the same.

Yrs.,
DDD
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Last edited by dddrum : 08-31-2005 at 05:15 AM. Reason: Stamping out some smoldering embers.
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Old 08-31-2005, 05:46 PM   #4
dinzdale
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Then you should enjoy reading Whizz for Atomms, Down With Skool or Back in the Jug Agane by Ronald Searle

Last edited by dinzdale : 08-31-2005 at 05:57 PM.
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Old 08-31-2005, 06:19 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dinzdale
Then you should enjoy reading Whizz for Atomms, Down With Skool or Back in the Jug Agane by Ronald Searle
Super! Race you to the Googler! Say, that wouldn't be Ronald Searle the demented caricaturist, would it? HE WROTED STUFH, TOOE???

Sorry. It's like channelling a little, illiterate pixie sometimes.

Xanax?
DDD
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Old 03-31-2006, 07:46 AM   #6
divisionbiscuit
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I think "crispy" ought to be spelled "kripspie" (pronounced krip-spee). It looks, and sounds crispier than the original. Crunch.
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:44 AM   #7
daverbee
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Not sure whether this is appropriate to this thread or not. This is an email sent out by our switchboard supervisor a couple weeks back. I kept it and read it every once in a while when I need a laugh.


Any chance any of you have seen the International phone? It was used in Jan by **** ****** and then they thought they doesn't it back, but maybe you have seen it laying around somewhere? It would be in a box from the type of phone is a v505. It will not work on the US so it is useless.


*'s added by me for privacy.
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Old 03-31-2006, 10:58 AM   #8
LeahDear
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This was emailed to me this morning


How to speak Essex:


alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item

amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend")

assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability
etc

awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely
lost ("That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day")

branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Trace, ya
look branna today, ave you been on sunbed?")

cort a panda - A rather large hamburger

dan in the maff- Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Trace, ya look a bit dan in
the maff")

eye-eels - Women's shoes

Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre

garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired (Trace: "Oi,
Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working
proper")

Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island

lafarjik- Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik")

oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs
or during banging dance tunes at clubs

paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport

reband- The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection
by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig")

Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in
the world. The place where the characters from TV's, popular soap opera,
Eastenders go on holiday

tan - The city of London, the big smoke

webbats- Querying the location something or someone is. ("Webbats is
me dole card Trace? I've gotta sign on in arf hour")

wonnid - 1. Desired, needed. 2. Wanted by the police

zaggerate - To suggest that something is bigger or better than it
actually is. ("I told ya a fazzand times already")
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Old 03-31-2006, 12:54 PM   #9
trisherina
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^^
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Old 04-04-2006, 04:37 AM   #10
dddrum
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daverbee
Not sure whether this is appropriate to this thread or not. This is an email sent out by our switchboard supervisor a couple weeks back. I kept it and read it every once in a while when I need a laugh.


Any chance any of you have seen the International phone? It was used in Jan by **** ****** and then they thought they doesn't it back, but maybe you have seen it laying around somewhere? It would be in a box from the type of phone is a v505. It will not work on the US so it is useless.
Yes, yes, oh yes. Fractured syntax can be just as charmingly sidesplitting, I think for the same reason... whatever the hell that might be.

I have, somewhere, an incident report written by a security guard for whom English was not his first language, nor apparently his second or third. The heading says it all.

SUBJECT: Car in stuck

Sometimes you read something and think, is this person actually as stupid as this makes them sound, or is it simply a communication barrier? With the aforementioned report, however, there was no question about it. It is an absolute hoot, and I shall commence excavating for it at once.

Glad to see this thread reemerging,
DDD
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