04-22-2008, 11:35 AM
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#1 |
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It isn't easy being green
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Earth, apt. 2-B
Posts: 1,113
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Backhanded Compliments
Growing up, we were constantly reminded to be polite and to say nice things about people. If you were like me, it did not take very long to recognize that such advice was not always easy to put into practice. More often than not, we meet people who defy compliments and the best we can do is say nothing at all. More imaginative souls practice the art of the "backhanded compliment", the creative art of delivering an insult dressed as a compliment.
One that I remember from many years ago was a compliment to a blind date: "For a fat person, you really don't sweat very much!" Speaking of blind dates, I once had one tell me at the end of the evening. "I think you look very handsome in the dark." (P.S. I married her.) OK, give me your best shots. |
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04-22-2008, 01:40 PM
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#2 | |
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oi
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,209
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Quote:
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04-22-2008, 01:55 PM
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#3 |
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________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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That's because you're so polite and say such nice things about people on a bulletin board where everyone can look up what's ever been said.
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My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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04-22-2008, 02:03 PM
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#4 | |
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oi
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,209
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Quote:
What I meant was that although I'd been taught to be generally polite, no one ever taught me I had to say nice things about people. |
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04-22-2008, 02:57 PM
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#5 |
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hint of olive
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 833
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My grandmother has mastered the art of insulting people by complimenting someone else.
For example my cousin, who has curly hair (just like me),spends hours straightening them. My grandmother hates the fact that I love my curls, so she constantly mentions how pretty my cousin look with straight hair. My favorite is when she told my fiance that he was the sweetest gentleman she had ever met, and that she would trade any of her sons for him. She said this in front of her three sons, loudly.
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Mein Führer! I can walk! -Dr. Strangelove |
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04-22-2008, 05:13 PM
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#6 |
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________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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I'm not sure that's not a double-whammy backhander, Veruki -- after all, if she COULD trade him for one of her sons, then you wouldn't be able to marry him because, well, he'd be your brother! I think gramma is even meaner than you think.
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My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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04-22-2008, 05:18 PM
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#7 |
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hint of olive
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 833
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Are you drunk?? If my grandmother traded my fiance for one of her sons, he'd be my uncle, not my brother.
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Mein Führer! I can walk! -Dr. Strangelove |
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04-22-2008, 05:38 PM
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#8 |
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Rhinoceros fan
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 8,749
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Okay, I got one.
"Awww...Your baby looks just like you!" |
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04-22-2008, 06:05 PM
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#9 | |
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________________
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: In a coign of the cliff between lowland and highland, at the sea-down's edge between windward and lee, walled round with rocks as an inland island, the ghost of a garden fronts the sea.
Posts: 8,967
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Quote:
__________________
My strength is as the strength of eight -- My heart is nearly pure. |
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04-22-2008, 06:22 PM
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#11 |
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in limbo
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 19,506
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also in the workplace: oh, you not taking that apple pie is because of your lactose intolerance.. i thought you weren't taking it because you were getting fat!
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04-24-2008, 10:32 AM
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#12 |
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It isn't easy being green
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Earth, apt. 2-B
Posts: 1,113
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You're a pretty good lover for a guy with a small penis.
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04-25-2008, 01:49 PM
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#13 |
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It isn't easy being green
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Earth, apt. 2-B
Posts: 1,113
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As loathsome as you are, your are not nearly as bad as your mother.
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04-25-2008, 06:47 PM
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#14 |
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constantly amazed
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
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That wonderful perfume is such a signature of yours that everyone knows the second you arrive!
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1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction. |
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04-25-2008, 06:51 PM
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#15 |
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constantly amazed
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: in the labyrinth of shared happiness
Posts: 6,206
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MIL to my face:
"Honestly, I began to relax when I finally realized that my son had simply married someone exactly like his mother."
__________________
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. 3. Your foot will change direction. |
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