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Old 10-11-2002, 01:03 PM   #1
dinzdale
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New Philosophy

Ralph Waldo Emerson and Socrates and a whole bunch of idiots between them, are still remembered by the great things they said. Things make make you say "Hmmm, that's very wise."
Well I happen to think the great minds on here can give them a run for their money, and be printed on calendars, probably in about 50 years or so....

Leave you wisdom below

Here's my first effort (and it really was an effort) to leave to future generations.

"Putting a loaf of bread at the bottom of the grocery bag will not effect the bread itself, but no-one wants mis-shappen sandwiches"
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Old 10-11-2002, 03:04 PM   #2
zenbabe
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"Just because a cat has her kittens in an oven, doesn't make them bisquits"
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Old 10-11-2002, 11:28 PM   #3
amanda
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Don't watch anything from Ze while making crepes.

One of you is going to get burned. (ouch!)
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Old 10-11-2002, 11:37 PM   #4
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Piggy profundities

I'm sorry... these aren't original... but they're so good!

On trying to show stubborn ignorant people the light:
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Same idea:
Never wrestle with a pig. You just get dirty, and the pig has fun.

On the theme of children:
Better you should raise pigs. At least you can eat them.
(The above statement is not necessarily the opinion of the person who typed it there. Only *sometimes*.)
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Old 10-12-2002, 12:54 AM   #5
amanda
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Pearl diving with Heinlein

Ah yes, The Notebooks of Lazarus Long- a solid source for pearls.

Never appeal to a man's "better nature". He may not have one. Invoking his self-interest gives you more leverage.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

Or one of my favorites...

Little girls, like butterflies, need no excuse.
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Old 10-13-2002, 10:33 PM   #6
AllegroNg
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Exclamation

Never ever kiss a turtle.
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Old 10-14-2002, 04:07 AM   #7
zenbabe
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Holy Monkey!
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Old 10-14-2002, 04:46 AM   #8
amanda
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Get your friends to do the slug-licking for you.

One I was reminded of this morning:
Don't drink orange juice right after you brush your teeth.

On a similar note:
Lemonade and chocolate don't mix.
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Old 10-14-2002, 12:38 PM   #9
dinzdale
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salt and sugar may look similar, but one tastes revolting in coffee.
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Old 10-14-2002, 02:56 PM   #10
Frieda
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a lot of things taste revolting in coffee.
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Old 10-14-2002, 02:58 PM   #11
bealeblues
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i think coffee does a good job at being revolting all on its own....
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Old 10-14-2002, 03:05 PM   #12
Frieda
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i drink it with a lot of sugar. a *lot* of sugar
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Old 10-14-2002, 03:14 PM   #13
Enqrypzion
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you're right, coffee is able to be very revolting at times.. most times.. close to all times, except there ain't no coffe sometimes.. most times..
I wonder though, would coffe be good at playing Re-Volt? it might, you know, being revolting and all..
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Old 10-14-2002, 03:32 PM   #14
dinzdale
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Many years from now, when they ask me all about it, I can look them in the eye and say:

"My addictions to caffeine, nicotine and alcohol were the only way I had of dealing with what we used to call reality. Now we know better, as they were in fact the only reality."

And they will say...."Wow!"
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Old 10-14-2002, 03:51 PM   #15
zenbabe
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I think my reality check just bounced....
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