the show: 01-25-07

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Sports Racer: Good morning, Sports Racers. I'm on the fifth moon of Yavin, and you're watching The Show with Ze Frank.

[Ze Begins] [laughing] Y...Yavin like in Star Wars?

It's--It's another travel day, and I had to wake up really early.

[sitting down looking gloomy] I don't feel like doing it today.

[picture of two Ze's sitting across a table from each other, non-gloomy one says] Look at me. What are you?

[gloomy Ze] Nothing.

[other Ze] C'mon. Say it.

[gloomy Ze] I'm a pretty princess.

[other Ze] What?

[gloomy Ze, smiling] I'm a pretty princess.

[Singing] I'm a pretty princess!

[Announcer voice]Pretty princess cape and rose! Macho men not included.

[Singing] I'm a pretty princess!

I have to check out today. Some people get confused on what the proper etiquette is when you check out of a hotel room.

Try to be considerate of the guests that are going to occupy the room after you. For example, I touched this brand-new roll of toilet paper. To be considerate, I wrote, "I touched this!" on the inside of each sheet that I touched. Don't skimp, put it back just the way you found it. Mmm, hotel corners.

Remember, a decorator took time to decorate the room. It can be nice to leave evidence that you paused for a second to admire the artwork. If you find something out of place, feel free to respect the designer's original intentions. Some inconsiderate guest probably moved these toilet gnomes [showing two book end statuettes].

[Showing gnome on toilet seat] All better.

As for the books, remember, the designer chose those, too. I like to leave little book reviews so they can tell that I noticed.

[Zooming out on note that says "To the management: this shower sucks!" on sink] Sometimes I leave criticism, too. But if you do, make sure that whatever you're criticizing isn't your fault.

[Panning down from $5 water bottles to home-made "used toothpaste $10"] If you can, try and find little ways to give something back and to show that you understand the aesthetic of the hotel.

If you do, try and be a little bit creative. Sure money's OK, but putting a little extra effort in can really make someone's day.

You should always leave a gratuity, and make sure that it's proportionate to the length of your stay. But whatever you do, make sure it's in an obvious place. If you don't, it may go unnoticed and get thrown away.

Blah bah bah bah bah.

[Jazz music plays as Ze jumps in the air while wearing a flower in his hair and a towel cape on his back. A camera shutter sounds.]

This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    sympathy duck

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Nice show Ze, enjoy Denver

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    i think you are all that is shiny and good:)

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif know the way, don't just slap your wang...

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-2.gif    Thanks for the spaghetti hat lessons.

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