the show: 04-06-06

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(the commentary: 04-06-06)


It's Thursday, April sixth-th. Call the fire department, knowledge climbed a tree and won't come down, not even for a Purina Whisker Lickins. Heeeere knowledge!

The truth is not sponsored by Purina or its parent company Nestle.

The Washington Post has a story today entitled "Immigration Debate Wakes A 'Sleeping Latino Giant'". The photo included in the article fails to convince this reporter that the supposed Latino giant is any larger than a regular Latino.

S-s-s-something from the comments, special report.

On April 4th, we learned about how the Washington Post had asked an undergraduate student to share her insights into the world of blogging. During that segment, this reporter used a 'valley girl' voice when quoting that student. Due to the powers of the internet, that very same young woman left a comment on my blog. Jessica Miller writes: "That was the email I sent that journalist. She totally butchered it. My personal opinion about blogging in an educational setting is somewhat contradictory. I feel that blah-blah-blah-blah-blah." Jessica, opinions are just like thinking. You let me take care of that. But this makes me wonder, are you a Sports Racer? Do you even have a power move? Here's mine.

(clip of move) (sung) Sports Racer, racing (whish ahh) sports.

I call that move Thunder Claw.

Many students think of college as a place where you learn how to think, sort of like baby birds who are weaned of regurgitated ideas fed to them by larger birds and who are then taught how to find ideas on their own. That sounds stressful. Nothing could be further from the truth. Colleges are simply remote and walled-off places where we send young people from the annoying ages of seventeen to twenty-one. This allows students to develop life skills, like casual sex and drinking, or coping with having caught nerd. It also allows students to get certain conversations out of the way before entering the real world. "Is, like, love at first sight real?" "Isn't capitalism, like, so responsible for, like, global warming?" "I don't care what people think of me." "Do you think there's only, like, one person in the world that's meant for you?" But, Jessica, I know the real reason you sent me such a long comment, you wanna be a sports racer sidekick. Well Sports Racer already has a sidekick, Hoops. But there's always room for one more. From now on, your name is Turbo. What's your power move?

(power move clip): (whish ahh)

Members of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association along with the US Geological Survey have said that the Bush Administration has made it hard for them to speak to the public about global warming. Scientists say that administration officials have removed references to global warming from their reports, news releases, and websites, have investigated news leaks, and sometimes urged them to stop speaking to the media all together.

Global warming, like herpes, will go away if you ignore it.

Republicans in the House approved a campaign finance measure, which places strict caps on contribution categories normally used by Democrats, while at the same time removing limits to contribution categories normally used by Republicans.

You can't spell the word reform without the word crap. Well, I guess you can. But it's still crap.

The New York Times reports that scientists have found the fossils of a fish that appears to be mid-way in the transition between being a sea animal and a land animal. Evolutionary Theory would predict that one would find such intermediary fossils and just to teach the controversy, Intelligent Design would predict nothing.

This is Ze Frank, and Turbo, thinking so you don't have to.

(Shot of Ze outside, preparing to do his power move.)

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