the show: 11-17-06

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(Creepy Guy)
Good morning sports racers. It's the show with Ze Frank.

Well that was creepy.

But you know what day it is today? It's Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day.

[RFEDD Intro: Claymation of duckie on pond (Edvard Grieg’s Peer Gynt Suite playing in background). All of a sudden, the person observing the duckie from the banks of the pond claps his hands and with a crack of thunder the duckie undergoes a transformation into…. A FIRE EAGLE!!!!. Scene cuts to the wizard, for he must be a wizard, riding on the back of the Fire Eagle (RTFEDD theme music in background). The last scene is truly fiery with the assistance of 151. Easter egg: there’s more than one duckie in this flick. Watch the clouds. ]

Now that's how ya claymation!

According to CNN, a California couple on a cross-country flight was busted for alledgedly trying to gain access to the Mile High Club.

Gaining entrance to the Mile High Club involves two people who love each other very much getting on a plane and [growl] [tongue licking] [thrust & polish] [leg spread double tickle] [kissy mew mew face] [teeth-bared rawr].

In addition to making the other passengers uncomfortable, one of the love birds allegedly told a stewardess, "I'm gonna give you one warning to get out of my face."

[smirk] So it couldn't have been going that badly.

The Mile High Club, which is most often talked about by people who have yet to join the Three Feet Club, was founded by Lawrence Sperry, the inventor of auto-pilot. [chuckle] And I'm not kidding.

While the Democrats are busy pickin' out drapes and arguin' about who's the prettiest girl at the ball, Republicans are back on the move.

[turned to side, reading] At a recent speech, Presidential hopeful John McCain said the Republicans had lost the mid-term elections because they abandoned their principles.

[face camera] Time to get back to basics.

In a Senate shuffle-de boogle-de, Trent Lott, pictured here on the set of CSI: Geriatrics Division, was chosen for the Minority Whip, the second in command for the GOP.

Senator Lamar Alexander, who was was also up for that job, said that, "this proves that the U.S. Senate, like the American public, likes a come-back story."

[semi-smarmy smile (4 out of 10)] It is a sweet little story, like Cinderella, but with racism.

Four years ago, Senator Lott was forced to resign from his Senate Republican leadership after a speech he gave at Senator Strom Thurmond's 100th birthday party.

Lott said, "I want to say this about my state. When Strom Thurmond ran for president we voted for him. We're proud of it, and if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have had all these problems over all these years, either."

During that campaign, Strom Thurmand ran on a racial segregation platform, and Lott's remarks were widely considered - uh - insensitive. Uh - stoopid. [chuckling, ironic] It was out of context.

Context, however, crept up on him by his involvement in groups like the Council of Conservative Citizens - sorta like the Boy Scouts, you know: sit around the fire and say things like, "Each one of the three major races plays a distinct role in history: the Whites were the creator of civilization, the Yellows its sustainers and copyists, the Blacks its destroyers."

No, not that one - the one about the fair-skinned babies!

"Start today, fellow white Americans: look at the faces around you. Find the faces like yours and see them as your brothers and sisters. Find the fair-skinned babies and see them as your children."

To be clear, those aren't Trent Lott quotes, those are Council of Conservative Citizen quotes, but, eh, he hangs.

After four years of being the ugly step-daughter of the Republican movement, Lott's feets have once again found the pretty slipper that fits.

And, finally, it was decided today that Donald Rumsfeld will spend Purgatory playing endless games of Stratego, but with only half the pieces.

Have a great weekend, Sports Racers. I'll see you back [saucy voice] in NYC.

This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Ze is being watched by

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    whatchu callin moose 'ugly' for? holla back!-gibbs

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Bow Quacka Bow Wow... what's next duck pr0n? <3

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    To the 8 greatest minds 2 emerge from da Pacifc NW

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    Ducks shouldn't be purple. It's not natural.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-2.gif    google ad money from says MOOKAH!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Ze, my friend, you're a nut. It's Ok, I like nuts!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Wait, not *those* nuts. Wait, not that I think...

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Ah, hell, nevermind! You rock!

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